UBS Sorry About Using The Words "Crap" "Vomit" And "Kewl" Re: Notes It Sold To Hedge Fund Client

Traders at the Swiss bank (presumably!) won't make that mistake again.
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Actually, it's not clear anyone there is sorry about the use of the word "kewl," but they should be.

Investment bank UBS has settled with a a hedge fund that accused it of selling securities it knew were on the precipice of a downfall with hours to go before a potentially damaging trial for the bank was set to begin. A source confirmed to Business Insider that UBS settled with Pursuit Partners, a Connecticut hedge fund, but declined to provide specifics...“UBS knew, at least as early as July 2007, based upon private communications by and between UBS and Moody’s, that Moody’s no longer believed that CDO notes of the type that UBS later sold to Pursuit deserved an “investment grade” rating,” the suit alleges. But the suit also cites emails between UBS staffers that really drive the point home. “Kewl,” wrote UBS trader Evan Malik to Hugh Corcoran in an August 2007 email that began with the bankers talking over company email about wine purchases. “Sold some more crap to pursuit.” In another email, UBS employee Tim Goodell said to Jared Menzel that the securities were “vomit;” this was in September 2007.

UBS just settled with a hedge fund over deals its staff called "crap" and "vomit" [BI]

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UBS Broker May Have Taken Stress Of The Job Out On 70 Windows In Beverly Hills, Encino Using "Slingshot Projectiles"

This is his story. The unlikely suspect in a string of window breakings in Beverly Hills -- a 58-year-old Encino investment adviser -- may be connected to 70 additional cases in the area, authorities said. Michael Steven Poret, a broker at UBS Financial Services, was arrested in Encino last week. Police say that Poret vandalized numerous businesses along Ventura Boulevard and several private homes in Beverly Hills. A witness account and private surveillance footage have depicted the vandal as a graying man in white gloves firing marbles at plate glass windows with a slingshot from the driver's seat of his car, then driving away in no apparent hurry. Authorities believe that Poret could be connected to more than 20 vandalism incidents in Beverly Hills and more than 50 in Encino, as well as several other vandalism reports authorities have received in Van Nuys and Topanga Canyon. The vandal appears to target businesses indiscriminately, hitting coffee shops, an autism treatment center and a salon. Luie Velasquez, a detective with the West Valley division of the Los Angeles Police Department, said the police's top theory is that the suspect sought excitement. "Your guess is as good as mine," Velasquez said. "For whatever reason, these individuals get some sort of thrill from smashing windows." Poret was first arrested July 3 after a Beverly Hills patrol officer spotted a slingshot in his vehicle during a traffic stop for a vehicle code violation. A search of his vehicle revealed brass knuckles, knives and slingshot projectiles. Poret was arrested again Thursday in an early morning raid on his Encino home, where police discovered firearms, bb guns, slingshots and marbles similar to those used in the window-breakings. A very understanding victim whose windows were hit three times and cost him $7,000 to repair had this to say: "I mean, I know that an investment bankers* are a little nuts. But you know, maybe the market is that bad. I don't get that. He must be a very frustrated guy." Alleged window-smashing broker may be suspect in 70 more cases [LATimes via TRB] *All together now: broker ≠ investment banker ≠ trader ≠ bank teller