Ex-Citi exec claims whistleblower mistreatment; Marissa Mayer dodges bullet; So it turns out my dead father worked in porn; and more.

$$$ Bernanke Cites Risks, but Doesn't Signal Action [WSJ] $$$ Federal Reserve set to unveil capital proposals [FT] $$$ Ackman, Loeb, other hedge funds lose in May [Reuters] $$$ Ford Makes the Grade, Joins Borrowing Spree [WSJ] $$$ David Takes On The Porn-Addicted Goliath: Egan-Jones Countersues The SEC; the complaint is surprisingly persuasive [ZH] $$$ Mets To Sell Reprinted Tickets From Santana No-Hitter For $50 [Bloomberg] $$$ A major financial advisor is looking for a VP specializing in financial institutions to join its debt research team [DBCC] $$$ The rise and fall of European banking [FTAV] $$$ Insider trading probe swings from bankers to ballplayers [Reuters] $$$ Election Forecast: Obama Begins With Tenuous Advantage [FiveThirtyEight] $$$ How the internet killed porn [Guardian via MR] $$$ Most Work Emails Not Important [Mashable]

SABMiller needs more time; SEC gets tough with JP Morgan; "Canadian restaurant stuffs burger with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups"; and more.

$$$ Spain's Recession to Linger as Austerity Bites [WSJ] $$$ Euro Bailout Bid Gets Vote Of No-Confidence [Bloomberg] $$$ As the Justice Department weighs the possibility of criminal charges in the unfolding Libor rate-setting scandal, it may want to consider the record of the Swiss banking giant UBS. At UBS, a series of immunity, nonprosecution and deferred prosecution agreements in recent years — evidently the government’s preferred approach to corporate crime — seems to have had scant, if any, deterrent effect. “It’s depressing,” Representative Peter Welch, Democrat of Vermont, a member of the House oversight committee, told me this week after we discussed UBS’s recent transgressions. “The Justice Department has to decide: Is the day of consent decrees and settlements, where you pay a fine, one passed on to shareholders, are those days over? Are the days of jail time here?” [NYT] $$$ Jamie Dimon Opens Wallet For JPMorgan Shares, Picks Up 500000‎ [Forbes] $$$ Someone stole hundreds of David Hasseloff life-sized cutouts [NYDN] $$$ Credit Suisse chair says board backs Dougan [Reuters] $$$ Ex-BofA Executive Indicted For Fraud In Municipal Bond Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ BMW ‘stolen’ from Hooters is found [WaPo]

Inside Traders Look to U.S. Supreme Court for Redemption; Deutsche cutting 1/2 of Brazil team; Fed holds line; Customs says man smuggled live birds in fanny pack, groin of pants; and more.

$$$ Del Missier Says Diamond Told Him To Lower Libor Submissions [Bloomberg] $$$ Banks behave badly redux: Is it killing confidence? [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Sachs And The $580 Million Black Hole [NYT] $$$ Treasury probe cites officials for soliciting prostitutes, accepting industry gifts, FOIA docs reveal [TheHill] $$$ "What appeared to be sewing needles were found in sandwiches served in business-class cabins on four Delta Air Lines flights to the U.S. from Amsterdam on Sunday, the airline confirmed." $$$ Surveys Give Big Investors an Early View From Analysts [NYT] $$$ JPMorgan Blaming Marks on Traders Baffles Ex-Employees [Bloomberg] $$$ JPMorgan Has Bigger Worry Than ‘London Whale,' says Bové [CNBC] $$$ An Indecent Proposal From Sarah Silverman For Billionaire Sheldon Adelson, Involving Her Scissoring Him [SideSplitter]

$$$ Gold Sinks Into Bear Territory [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan Switches Risk Model Again After Whale Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ US Senate scales back insider law [FT] $$$ Spain Eases Rules in Move Seen Helping Convicted CEO [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Credit Suisse trader pleads guilty in MBS case [Reuters] $$$ Mayo Tells Wells Fargo Execs Results ‘Stunk’ [Deal Journal] $$$ When options trading ahead of deals raises eyebrows [Reuters] $$$ Notes from the DoubleLine Lunch with Jeffrey Gundlach, Spring 2013 [Reformed Broker] $$$ Doubts over new CDS futures [IFR] $$$ High-Speed Trader Said to be Considered for SEC Post [Bloomberg] $$$ Billionaire Koch Wins $12 Million Verdict in Wine Trial [Bloomberg] $$$ Sarasota Man Steals Ten Cans Of Axe Deodorant From Publix Store, Assaults Security Guard, Broken Bicycle Chain Foils Getaway [Global Dispatch]

$$$ EU could rewrite eurozone budgets [FT] $$$ Moody's Cuts Ratings on 28 Spanish Banks [WSJ] $$$ Do-it-yourself currency devaluation [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Greek Finance Minister Quits Days Into The Job [Bloomberg] $$$ RBS computer failure condemns man to spend weekend in jail [Telegraph] $$$ Feeding your pet rabbit carrots could be bad for him [NYP] $$$ A leading tech focused M&A boutique investment bank would like to hire a senior associate or VP - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Mapping and Sizing the U.S. Repo Market [Liberty Street Economics] $$$ Downgrade of Funds to Have Broad Effects [WSJ] $$$ Banks fight Fed's push to make them less entwined [Reuters] $$$ "Breastaurants" Experiencing a Mini-Boom [AP] $$$ A Jew-Hating Elmo In Central Park [Gawker]