Write-Offs: 9.14.15

Pimco sees less than 50% chance of rate hike this week; Credit Suisse dark pool settlement; "Bride Nearly Run Over by Drunk Wedding Guest"; and more.

Author:: Dealbreaker
Updated:: Jan 14, 2019
Original:: Sep 14, 2015

$$$Credit Suisse Nears $80 Million Settlement Over Dark Pool [Bloomberg]

$$$Pimco's Ivascyn says below 50 percent chance Fed hikes rates this week [Reuters]

$$$Banks Wanted to Keep the CDS Market to Themselves [BloombergView / Matt Levine]

$$$Was Tom Hayes Running the Biggest Financial Conspiracy in History? [Bloomberg]

$$$Bride Nearly Run Over by Drunk Wedding Guest [Newser]

$$$Silicon Valley’s healthy energy drink heading to NYC [NYP]

$$$$75 million cake sets price record [CNBC]

$$$Man skips shower for 12 years, uses bacterial spray to keep clean [UPI]

Write-Offs

Greece still thinks it has a chance; Apple is the new Pimco; Uber banned in the Hamptons; "Finally, a knife that toasts bread as it slices"; and more.

Write-Offs

Citi chief gets a raise; Survey says rate hike coming; Clumsy criminal crashed through ceiling of Popeyes; and more.

Write-Offs

Valeant says short-seller's report is BS; Credit Suisse is a less hot version of UBS; Warren Buffett's li'l millionaires; The return of Greg Smith; "Alleged wedding crasher bites officer, police dog"; and more.

Write-Offs

Investors want banks taken to the chop shop; Pimco explains shrinkage; "Man Shot His Sister With BB Gun Over Phallic Birthday Cake: Cops"; AND MORE.

Write-Offs

$$$ Citigroup Said to Cut Investment Bankers’ Bonuses by 20% [Bloomberg] $$$ HSBC to Pay $249 Million in Foreclosure Settlement [WSJ] $$$ "For most of its history, Dell appears to have followed advice from investment banks — advice that ill-served long-term shareholders to the benefit of corporate executives. The company paid out billions of dollars to buy back stock, and only last year began to distribute some of the money to shareholders who chose to stick with it rather than bail out. It has spent more money on share repurchases than it earned throughout its life as a public company. Most of those repurchases were at prices well above current levels." [NYT] $$$ Matt Yglesias on the Fed: "There's no solving for the desired result. There's just a presentation of a scenario and then a bunch of chit chat and discussion of operational details." [Slate] $$$ Vibrator With 3 Balls Can’t Win EU Trademark, Court Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Levin Report on JPMorgan Whale Said to Fault Regulator [Bloomberg] $$$ Assured Guaranty Cut by Moody’s on Muni Insurance Outlook [Bloomberg] $$$ All Dutch securities have been dematerialized [FTAV] $$$ Chinese labour pool begins to drain [FT] $$$ A sonnet version of the Diff'rent Strokes theme song [VC]

Write-Offs

Recession 2016; Lacker not worried about China in US; Busted Michigan "Sex Toy Bandits" Make Crowdfunding Pitch For Wedding Funds; and more.

Write-Offs

Greece; Settlements; Hoaxes; "Florida man dances on police vehicle to ward off vampires"; and more.

Write-Offs

End of M&A boom; Zuckerberg tops Bezos; Investors pull out of Pimco; Law Student Demands Lifetime Supply Of Kit Kats; and more.