Dick Fuld is back; Greece still has no money; Hostess is worth $2 billion; "A quarter of Harvard grads have never gotten laid"; and more.

Banks prep for rate rise; junk bonds; Big solar coming for big oil; "Massachusetts zoo sells artwork painted by animals"; and more.

$$$ Goldman Fined for Failing to Block Trader’s $8.3 Billion Bet [Bloomberg] $$$ Key SEC Holdout in Money-Fund Overhaul Reverses Stance [WSJ] $$$ Canada Approves Cnooc-Nexen Deal [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan nears £500m bonus tax deal [FT] $$$ Rant: At Top Law Firms, a Class Conflict During Bonus Season [BBW / Elie Mystal] $$$ Lloyd bought a house [DealBook] $$$ The 200 West Street Goldman cafeteria (1) is really very good, (2) features food from a former banker [DealBook] $$$ 100 Women in Hedge Funds names Ivanka Trump to its board, consists of 10,000 women, mostly not in hedge funds [AR] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit officer for securities backed lending in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ Morgan Stanley's 2013 adviser pay to reward new loans [Reuters] $$$ Brokers Must Disclose Bonuses to Clients in Finra Proposal [Bloomberg] $$$ "It’s always a mistake to use microeconomic intuition in macro," quantitative easing edition [Scott Sumner] $$$ Whale’s Trade in Comeback as Junk Fervor Fades [Bloomberg] $$$ "If Harvard wishes to retain its primary existence as a gigantic profit-maximizing hedge fund ..." [American Conservative via John Carney] $$$ Ivy League Cracks Down as Students Spiral Out of Control [Bloomberg] $$$ "I am tired of fooling around, he said. I’m forming a legal team. We have case studies, an office outside Lexington. He swept the strips off the table and held the beak in the air. We’re looking for a poet to write our anthem!" [The Awl]

$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]

Ex-BankAtlantic CEO gets bar, fine; "Alleged penis-measuring exec charged in blood diamond scam"; Uber v. Brazil; "A Harvard employee has been accused of stealing $80,000 from the university and spending it on Lego and Apple products."; and more.

$$$ Ex-UBS Traders Offered Deal by U.S. in Rate Probe [WSJ] $$$ The history of the invention of Libor [Reuters] $$$ British MPs accuse US of anti-City agenda [FT] $$$ Why investors should avoid hedge funds [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ "Brazilian central bank employees staged their first work stoppage in five years today ... demanding an average pay increase of 23 percent to compensate for inflation since June 2008." [Bloomberg via Slate] $$$ Pole Vaulter Realizes It’s Not His Day As His Pole Shatters Mid-Vault [Deadspin] $$$ J.P. Morgan is looking for a Java developer to work on interest rates derivatives pricing [DBCC] $$$ Carbon Credits Gone Awry Raise Output of Harmful Gas [NYT] $$$ "I propose an expanded system of company registration under which companies would have to trade in private markets for a seasoning period, with mandatory disclosure, before they would be allowed to sell their shares to the public at large." [Harvard Law] $$$ On retail vs. institutional investors: "As for small investors vs. little guys, there’s a difference. If you have enough money that you’re investing it through brokers, I personally don’t count you as small, even if you appear small to Goldman Sachs." [Mathbabe] $$$ A Hundred Horses Are Ford’s Pride After Flipping Tainted Banks is really a Bloomberg headline [Bloomberg] $$$ Beck's next album will be released only as sheet music [McSweeney's]

BlackRock winding down macro fund; Fed minutes suggest December liftoff; "A Chinese billionaire bought a $170 million painting with an American Express to get the points"; and more.

$$$ Moody's says more steps needed to save US credit rating [Reuters] $$$ Avis to Buy Car-Sharing Service Zipcar [WSJ] $$$ There's going to be a re-settlement of the mortgage settlement [NYT] $$$ BofA Could Join JPMorgan Selling Units to Boost Value, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Greek Official Resigns Amid Bank Scandal [WSJ] $$$ The Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist [BBW] $$$ A leading financial services firm in Chicago is looking for a corporate strategy & development associate or VP [DBCC] $$$ Up and Down for Einhorn's Greenlight in December [Alpha] $$$ Do Corporations Have Religious Rights? [Law Blog] $$$ You Disgust Me, Christie Tells Boehner in Storm Over Aid [CNBC] $$$ “If somebody had told me I was going to be a high school math teacher in Dallas, Texas, when I entered college, I’d be like, ‘No, there’s no chance of that being true,’ ” said Mr. Dearing, who has deferred an offer from McKinsey. The teaching skills easily translate to office environments, he said. “I’m effectively the leader, every day, for 46 minutes, in front of seven different groups,” Mr. Dearing said. [DealBook]