Spotify valued at $8.4 billion; Harvard Business School has a nice little side gig; Citi's top risk exec to exit; "Biden puts Bloomberg’s grandson’s pacifier in his mouth"; and more.

Commerce official didn't know you're not supposed to use work computers for porn; Brazil sinks; Tough road for DOJ to prosecute Wall Street execs; "Man Cited For Driving 112 MPH On Way To Traffic Court"; and more.

Harvard grads are rich; Bitcoins; Brazilians; Blankfein; "I’m Ashton Kutcher and I’m here to help"; "Oregon artist to sell image of Trump painted with menstrual blood"; and more.

$$$ Argentina to Seize Control of Oil Firm [WSJ] $$$ World Bank picks Kim as next head [FT] $$$ Coty Tries to Rally Support for Avon Bid Amid Skepticism [DealBook] $$$ Brazil Cannibal Empanadas: Brazilian Women Murdered, Eaten And Made Into Human Pastries [HuffPo, congrats on the Pulitzer] $$$ PIMCO is looking to fill tax manager positions - in regulated and private funds - in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ New York Jets All-Pro D'Brickashaw Ferguson, will be on Wall Street (Exchange Place and Broad Street) at 3:45pm tomorrow as part of The Decathlon 2012. Ferguson will be demonstrating how The Decathlon uses performance-based donating ('charitybets') to raise money to support Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. He'll be charitybetting on any Wall Streeter to come out and participate in a Vertical Jump contest. Ferguson will have a Vertec (devise used at the NFL Combine to test vertical leaping) and a few thousand dollars - CASH - to donate to MSKCC. Jump 24-inches, Ferguson donates $100. Jump $26-inches, Ferguson donates $200. And so on and so forth. Registration for The Decathlon 2012 opens Tuesday, April 17th. The event is on Sunday, July 29th at Columbia University's Wien Stadium. $$$ For Two Economists, the Buffett Rule Is Just a Start [NYT] $$$ Following Other People's Stock Picks Just Got Easier but why? [Bloomberg] $$$ What is Carney talking about? [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ ECB staff demand inflation protection [Money Supply] $$$ Rock Out With Your Cock Out: Penis Warmers Are Now a Thing [Fashionista] $$$ Breasts lead to arrest of Anonymous hacker [CNET]

$$$ EXCLUSIVE: Here's The Inside Story Of What Happened On The Facebook IPO [BI / Henry Blodget] $$$ "A senior Nasdaq Stock Market official told customers Tuesday afternoon that it would have pulled the plug on Facebook Inc.'s initial public offering had it known the full extent of the technical problems that plagued its systems." [WSJ] $$$ Occupy Wall Street Alternative Banking Group Files Amicus Brief on Side of Judge Rakoff in SEC v. Citigroup; the brief is very clever [NC] $$$ A former high frequency trader proposes eliminating the subpenny rule [Chris Stucchio] $$$ Auction of Reagan's Blood Sparks Outrage [Reuters] $$$ Prudential Capital is looking for an investment associate in Chicago/Minneapolis [DBCC] $$$ At Hearing, Regulators Discuss JPMorgan Investigation [DealBook] $$$ Zuckerberg’s Property Status, Post-Marriage [NYT] $$$ Disclosure by Short-Sellers Would Improve Market Clarity [DealBook / Steven Davidoff] $$$ "A Silicon Valley tech executive faces charges after authorities say he put fake bar codes on hundreds of Lego sets at various Target stores so he could buy the toys at steeply discounted prices, then sell them online for thousands of dollars in profits." [AP]

$$$ Something something something "[Bernanke] must once again address whether there is more the Fed can do to get the economy going and whether it is worth taking chances on controversial new programs" [WSJ] $$$ Brussels pushes for wide ECB powers [FT] $$$ Google, Apple CEOs in secret patent talks [Reuters] $$$ Goldman is struggling to sell an ABS deal backed by Bob Dylan royalties, inspiring many FT jokes [FT] $$$ Chipotle caught STEALING pennies from hapless customers nationwide in deceptive receipt rounding scandal [Daily Mail] $$$ Kelly & Dylan finally get together [NYP] $$$ A bulge bracket bank in New York is looking for a senior internal audit manager [DBCC] $$$ Guy voting Republican [CNBC] $$$ Sharp Elbows Among Street Lawmen [WSJ] $$$ Citi is looking for a little more space [WSJ] $$$ "A 97-year-old message in a bottle found by Scottish fishermen in their catch has set the world record for spending the longest time at sea." [Bloomberg] $$$ Over 100 students in Harvard's "Intro to Congress" class are being investigated for cheating [Crimson]

China; Stress tests; Another broker cleared in Libor trial; "World's Greatest Athlete Plays Ping-Pong With His Penis"; and more.

Citadel v Citigroup; Everyone hates hedge fund fees; 'Dennis Rodman’s ranting saved me from North Korean gulag' and more.