Write-Offs: 9.25.15

RBC says "Fed just threw kerosene on the fire"; Pimco thriving without Bill; Yale money managers top Harvard money managers; "A Pennsylvania congressman said he swiped Pope Francis' abandoned glass of water following his address to Congress and sipped it with his wife and staffers"; and more.

Author:: Dealbreaker
Updated:: Jan 14, 2019
Original:: Sep 25, 2015

$$$Bond King Is Gone. Long Live Pimco. [Bloomberg]

$$$Fed just threw kerosene on the fire: RBC Strategist [CNBC]

$$$How the World Is Messing With Investors and the Fed [WSJ]

$$$Old-Drug Price Hike ‘Perversion of the System,’ Biogen CEO Says [Bloomberg]

$$$Missing Dennis The Menace Statue Returned After 11 Years [HP]

$$$The Risk of a Billion-Dollar Valuation in Silicon Valley [Dealbook]

$$$Yale Endowment Returns 11.5%, Eclipsing Harvard’s 5.8% [Dealbook]

$$$ A Pennsylvania congressman said he swiped Pope Francis' abandoned glass of water following his address to Congress and sipped it with his wife and staffers. [UPI]

London is #1 financial center; VW screws German economy; "Pope Francis blesses DC Metro and its fare cards"; and more.

The Secretive Hedge Fund That's Generating Huge Profits for Yale; Marijuana sales jump; Wall Street cuts rates forecast; Pancake Rage Case Dismissed After No-Show; and more.

$$$ Eurozone deal over bank bailout in doubt [FT] $$$ U.K. Bankers Group to Stop Overseeing Libor [WSJ] $$$ The Smith Barney Name Still Lives (Sort of) [Deal Journal] $$$ Mason Capital may lose money on its delightful Telus trade [DealBook] $$$ Actually, business and political leaders aren't that stressed [LAT] $$$ “I’ve had to sit here all night staring at a whale,” [Jes] Staley said last night, a few hours into a gala for the NYU Langone Medical Center’s Hospital for Joint Diseases and Center for Musculoskeletal Care. He was accepting an award for corporate leadership. Staley then suggested the whale could be replaced with the squid in the room, which, he clarified afterward, meant Goldman Sachs Group Inc., represented by his friend Gary D. Cohn, chairman of the dinner and the hospital’s advisory board. Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi called Goldman a “vampire squid.” All this took place about 20 feet from a diorama depicting a battle between a sperm whale and a giant squid. Which creature will triumph is unclear, though squid have been found in whales’ stomachs. [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie's Credit Solutions Group, a distressed and special situations financing group, is looking for a 2nd or 3rd-year analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Or just be an event coordinator for Breaking Media [Fashionista] $$$ Uber Bear Sees S&P at 800...Just Not Yet [CNBC!] $$$ Eighth Grader Says He Vandalized Congressman’s Office [NYT] $$$ Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too [Gawker] $$$ Police launched investigation into the 'suspicious' moon [Telegraph]

Bill Ackman will debate a guy...for a million dollars; Tim Cook plans to give away all his money; "McDonald's Is Shilling Big Mac Clothing"; and more.

$$$ Gawker acquires semi-public audited financials of Bain Capital funds, orgasms all over them [Gawker, related] $$$ Bain Capital's conversion of management fees into carry may have been tax aggressive [Victor Fleischer] $$$ Republicans eye return to gold standard [FT] $$$ New York Fed Sells Last of AIG Bonds, at a Profit [WSJ] $$$ "Hedge Funds, Grimacing, Open the Kimono" [Bloomberg] $$$ BlackRock would like to hire a securities lending accounting associate in San Francisco, if that's your cup of tea [DBCC] $$$ The Downsizing of the American Butler [CNBC] $$$ What's up with Best Buy? [DealBook] $$$ Citi passed its make-up stress test [Reuters] $$$ Seven-Year-Old Wins Iceland Ram Groping Contest [Iceland Review via MR]

$$$ Italy Vote Shows No Clear Winner, as Berlusconi Rises [WSJ] $$$ Goldman to begin fresh round of job cuts [Reuters] $$$ Remember That $83 Billion Bank Subsidy? We Weren't Kidding [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ "There appears to be a growing trendin dying industries: The bosses want to hold their bedside vigils in private." [Deal Journal] $$$ Banks to sell complex CDS books [IFR] $$$ "As an excellent student with advanced people skills and an exciting resume, with a desire to be part of a challenging, energetic, and reputable organization, I will be a valuable addition to The Catholic Church as your new Pope." [McSweeney's] $$$ A top-tier investment management firm is looking for a VP, behavioral finance specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Wells Fargo Role in Heinz Deal Is Credit Negative, Moody’s Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Leveraged loan market on fire [Sober Look] $$$ Banks Face Key Hurdle in Libor Fight [WSJ] $$$ RBS plans IPO for U.S. arm Citizens in next two years [Reuters] $$$ John Kerry Brings Democracy to Kyrzakhstan [DI]

$$$ LIBOR Pains: How Much Will the LIBOR Scandal Cost US Banks? $35 Billion [MarketPlace/Heidi Moore] $$$ Matthew Goldstein: JPMorgan disclosed possible misconduct to feds ahead of earnings [Reuters] $$$ PFG Founder Has No Money For Attorney [CNBC] $$$ Bernanke Offers Bleak View in Testimony [WSJ] $$$ Plane Flying Above Penn State Warns: “Take Down The Statue Or We Will” [Deadspin] $$$ Gupta Seeks Help From Friends for Lenient Sentence [FBN/Charlie Gasparino] $$$ HSBC Executive Resigns at Senate Money Laundering Hearing [Bloomberg] $$$ Teens Having Sex Behind Ikea, Locals Say [DNAI]

$$$ Hedge Fund Manager Found Guilty of Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Citi chief rejects calls for bank splits [FT] $$$ E.C.B. Rejects Speculation About Its Bond-Buying Intentions [NYT] $$$ Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore became the first women admitted to Augusta National [USAT] $$$ Apple Market Value Hits Record High $$$ Kansas lawmaker apologizes for nude Sea of Galilee swim [AP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an anti-money-laundering due diligence manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Banks Use $1.77 Trillion To Double Treasury Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Seeing Moat Of Secrecy Run Dry Vows Results To Lure Wealthy [Bloomberg] $$$ "Inspired by Google’s PageRank, the authors of a new paper create DebtRank, a measure of connection centrality. The vertical axis in the following diagram shows DebtRank (centrality) the horizontal axis asset shows size relative to the total network and the color indicates fragility/leverage. Institutions such as Wachovia, RBS and Barclays were relatively small but because of their centrality and fragility they imposed big risks on the system." [MR] $$$ Would it be better if analysts started earnings call Q&As by saying "terrible quarter, guys"? [Overheard]