Carl Icahn is angry with Bernie Sanders; John Mack invested with former LendingClub CEO; Krispy Kreme agrees to buyout; Japanese baseball game delayed when foul-smelling fish falls from the sky; and more.

Stock Exchange theme bar with fluctuating drinks prices opening in London; Lynn Tilton's new defense; Wall Street's summer reading lists; "Arizona Cops Hunting For Man Who Urinated Through Mail Slot At Upscale Furniture Store"; and more.

$$$ Dell Shares Surge After Report of Possible Buyout [DealBook] $$$ Herbalife Rises to Highest Price Since Ackman Pyramid Allegation [Bloomberg] $$$ Guy prefers startups to banking [Pando Daily] $$$ Obama Said to Consider Morgan Stanley’s Porat at Treasury [Bloomberg] $$$ Nudists Seek Corporate Sponsor Looking for Greater Exposure [WSJ] $$$ A multi family office is looking for a senior private banker to cover LatAm markets or US onshore clients from Miami [DBCC] $$$ Skowron Fights Bank $$$ "Bank robbers have made off with an unknown amount of loot after digging a 100-foot tunnel into a Berlin bank from a nearby parking garage. To get into the building, they broke through two concrete walls. Police have no leads." [Der Spiegel] $$$ The Wall Street Journal Has Bedbugs [DI] $$$ Holy Crap, These Dogs Interrupting A Soccer Match Are Adorable [Deadspin]

Credit Suisse chief on the way out; HSBC still in troubs; Goldman Sachs love emojis; Marijuana on the loose; AND MORE.

George Soros is firing people, the marijuana industry wants its own bank, an angry owl is "terrorizing joggers," AND MORE.

$$$ AIG Said to Boost U.S. TARP Recovery to 80% With Payment [Bloomberg] $$$ Trio of Deals Show IPO Strength [WSJ] $$$ Scrap Over Easing IPO Rules [WSJ] $$$ "The biggest recent change on Wall Street has been semantic, not substantive. The word 'client' has become Orwellian doublespeak. Goldman’s leaders talk uniformly about the importance of serving clients, but the firm’s salespeople know who is a client and who is a mere a counterparty." Frank Partnoy says sensible things about Muppetgate [FT] $$$ Fruit flies who strike out with the lady fruit flies drink to forget their troubles [NYT] $$$ Banks hike fees, cut costs to boost profits [Reuters] $$$ Glencore poised for joint bid for Viterra [FT] $$$ The New York Times paid executives multimillion dollar bonuses for achieving returns that were a fraction of its cost of capital, so that's kind of awkward [BreakingViews, via William Wright] $$$ Would you like some hyperbolic metaphors with your intimations of criminality? Enjoy! [Rolling Stone] $$$ "The Real Question re Goldman: Why doesn't Goldman have its employees sign non-disclosure agreements?" I know, right? [Credit Slips]

$$$ Participation in Greek Bond Swap Seen Falling Short [WSJ] $$$ Brazil becomes sixth biggest economy. Parabéns! [FT] $$$ The Lone Tweeter of Deutsche Bank [BW] $$$ Market Correction 'No Big Thing': Ken Langone [CNBC] $$$ Watson follows the well-worn path from endearing computer geek to fratty banking analyst [DI] $$$ A global investment bank is looking for mid level experienced equity derivatives marketers - apply before Matt does! [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Sachs: Social Security and Medicare Are 'Weaker' Promises Than Debt [Bloomberg] $$$ Former Porsche CFO charged with fraud [FT] $$$ Russian millionaire seeks mansion approval [Greenwich Time] $$$ Centerbridge Bridge Boss Jeff Aronson Buys Stress-Free Central Park West Roost [NYO] $$$ Consider the numéraire. Or don't, gah. [CNBC] $$$ Apparently "Wall Street's favorite lunch spot" is on 29th Street [BI]

No good very bad quarter for equities; Germans pay $343 million for Business Insider; Glencore woes; Icahn's short film; "Meet the man behind 'sexy' Halloween"; and more.