$$$ More Probes Add to Barclays's Woes [WSJ] $$$ Corzine Searches for What's Next [WSJ] $$$ London Whale’s Boss Martin-Artajo Sued by JPMorgan [Bloomberg] $$$ “The growth in [European government bond] futures volumes is unbelievable,” said one senior credit trader. “The same short interest still exists – economically it’s identical. If you thought the short interest was hurting the market then it makes no sense to say cleared derivatives are good and OTC derivatives are bad.” [IFRE] $$$ Remember: it's not Halloween if you're in New Jersey [nj.gov via Counterparties] $$$ Dear College Kids, If You Dress in an Ironically Racist or Insensitive Costume, You May Get Punched In the Nose Like I Did [Gawker Updates] $$$ A private equity firm is looking for an associate in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ When Is There a Strong Transfer Risk from the Sovereigns to the Corporates? Property Rights Gaps and CDS Spreads [NY Fed] $$$ Citigroup Staff Uprooted for Weeks as Sandy Slams Wall Street [Bloomberg] $$$ On Mayor Bloomberg's sign-language interpreter: "The perception that we non-signers have that these hand movements and facial expressions are particularly 'animated' and 'expressive' is precisely due to our lack of experience with them as linguistic features." [LL] $$$ Bloomberg on hurricane sushi, part 2 [BBW, earlier] $$$ Baby walrus rides out hurricane at NYC aquarium WITH VIDEO [MSNBC]

$$$ Athens faces tough bail-out terms [FT] $$$ ECB to Exchange Greek Bonds [WSJ] $$$ I give up, what would you do about Greece? [Crooked Timber] $$$ Yelp Sets Terms for March IPO [WSJ, possibly related] $$$ Goldman hires Harvard students because Harvard is bad at educating them [Bloomberg / Ezra Klein, possibly related] $$$ Australia's richest person wrote the universe's worst poem ("Develop North Australia, embrace multiculturalism and welcome short term foreign workers to our shores / To benefit from the export of our minerals and ores" etc.) [Telegraph via The Jane Dough] $$$ You could be a Credit Risk Senior Analyst at Genworth in Stamford [eFinancialCareers] $$$ Icahn Offers to Buy CVR Energy in at Least $2.6 Billion Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ The SEC raised the qualifications for being charged 2 and 20 [SEC] $$$ Merrill brokers are fine selling bad advice but draw the line at selling BofA banking services [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Welcome to six months ago Art Cashin. Some tips: buy NFLX; don't take any Tuscan cruises. [MarketBeat] $$$ Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore wants to end the default practice of quarterly earnings guidance and explore issuing loyalty-driven securities as part of an overhaul of capitalism which he says has turned many of the world's largest economies into hotbeds of irresponsible short-term investment. [Reuters] $$$ Toddler Rescued From Inside Claw Game [ABC]

$$$ RBS speeds up investment arm split [Telegraph] $$$ How much value does the finance industry create? [Noahpinion] $$$ Leverage can increase volatility and diversification can reduce risk [WSJ] $$$ Why London hedge fund wives don’t do Switzerland [EFC] $$$ Cheese fire causes traffic meltdown in Norway tunnel [Reuters] $$$ Registration for the 5th annual Decathlon starts today! This year’s competition takes place on July 28th, and also includes monthly “Throw Downs” where all registered Decathletes compete in 1-2 Decathlon events and collect charity bets on head-to-head match-ups (40 yard dash! Pull-ups! Bench press!). All proceeds benefit the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. $$$ A hedge fund in New York is looking for a quantitative macro strategist/economist [DBCC] $$$ Wells Fargo Lifts Quarterly Dividend 14% [FBN] $$$ Deutsche Bank Said to Be Asked by Bafin to Simulate Split [Bloomberg] $$$ Schroders Worker Among FSA Insider-Trading Probe Arrests [Bloomberg] $$$ Is seducing executives in order to get and trade on inside information illegal? [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ ‘Your Cat Is Not Innocent’: New Zealand Man Launches Campaign to Rid Country of Cats [Gawker]

Titleist golf unit considering IPO; Morgan Stanley done with energy stocks; Glencore shares plunge; Qatar Fund Loses $5.9 billion; "Marijuana falls from the sky, puts hole in Arizona family's carport"; and more.

$$$ Facebook to List on Nasdaq [WSJ] $$$ Egan-Jones Cuts US Credit Rating to 'AA,' Citing Debt [CNBC] $$$ Swiss Are Tested on Franc [WSJ] $$$ Jefferies Ends First Quarter With Short Position on Spain [Bloomberg] $$$ ABS shows Greek bonds can pay par [IFR] $$$ Hyenas Give Up Scavenging For Lent [LiveScience via The Hairpin, related?] $$$ Like the NYSE, we’ll be off tomorrow. Enjoy the long weekend and we'll see you Monday. $$$ Jobs News Could Be So Good That It's Bad. Or vice versa? [WSJ] $$$ Architect of Fed’s ‘Operation Twist’ quits [FT] $$$ Kozlowski Is Turned Down for Parole [DealBook] $$$ The Vulcan/Martin Marietta takeover fight is pretty nasty [Dealpolitik] $$$ Why You Should Learn to Love Pink Slime [The Atlantic / Adam Ozimek] $$$ Beer is not the main cause of the the beer belly [Guardian]

$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]

$$$ Plans to Ease Euro Crisis Are Ambitious but Long-Term [NYT] $$$ European fiscal union and adverse selection [Scott Sumner] $$$ The twilight of the central banker [Economist / Ryan Avent] $$$ Best Buy Founder Weighs Buyout [WSJ] $$$ The crown prince of Dubai came to New York and ate a $1,000 ice cream sundae [NYP] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a real estate securities portfolio manager [DBCC] $$$ As Nomura Investors Meet, Strategy, Insider-Trade Probe to Take Center Stage [WSJ] $$$ Qatar turns on Glencore-Xstrata terms [FT] $$$ What’s been pushing up US repo rates? [FTAV] $$$ Man Charged with Felony Assault with a Dangerous Weapon for Throwing McDonald’s French Fries in Stepdaughter’s Face [Gawker]

$$$ As His Fraud Trial Opens, Ex-UBS Trader Is Accused of Brazen Gambling [DealBook] $$$ Thanks, Goldman, for Giving My Peers Their Lives Back [Bloomberg] $$$ FDIC’s Hoenig Wants Simpler Rules Than Basel III [Deal Journal] $$$ Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary demonstrations start tomorrow [The Awl] $$$ Hard-money types talk too much about the gold standard, not enough about the bacon standard [CNBC] $$$ "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny's she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." - Mitt Romney [DI] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for an insurance wholesaling director in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Miller Says U.S. Should Issue Simplified Volcker Rule [Bloomberg] $$$ Private equity needs more strategic deals [Term Sheet] $$$ Home Depot is leaving China, "where cheap labor has stunted the do-it-yourself ethos and apartment-based living leaves scarce demand for products like lumber" [WSJ] $$$ Allocating Risk Through Contract: Evidence from M&A and Policy Implications [Harvard Law] $$$ Naked German monk found wandering Bavarian forest after tripping on some bad berries [NYDN]