JP Morgan to spin off private equity unit; Best business schools of 2015; Analyst says Apple TV could be a hit...someday; "County cop charged in testicle-biting incident no longer with department"; and more.

Block calls U.S. stocks rally 'dead cat bounce'; Strategist says Trump is a wild card for the markets; Naked Female Motorist Leads New Mexico Cops On 100 MPH Chase, Says She Was Too Hot For Clothes; and more.

$$$ IMF, EU clash over Greece's bailout prospects [Reuters] $$$ No Prison Time Likely For Accused Manhattan Madam [WSJ] $$$ U.K. authorities arrested a former Credit Suisse investment banker on Wednesday in connection with U.S. allegations that he and others at the Swiss bank conspired to inflate the values of mortgage bonds during the financial crisis. [WSJ] $$$ U.S. Banks’ Leverage Should Be Halved to Cut Risks, Bair Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Man pulled over by cops blames reckless driving on pet squirrel [DM] $$$ Hong Kong Tycoon Seeks Husband for Lesbian Daughter [GP] $$$ Bank of America VP Called Seahawks’ Disputed Touchdown Pass [Bloomberg] $$$ Rumble On the Docks: Contract Pits Pinstriped Pinheads Against Roughneck Roustabouts [NYO] $$$ Poll: Romney Ahead in Presidential Race, Say Replacement Refs [New Yorker]

Feds signal June increase is on the table; Wells Fargo cuts Valeant; Woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids, Police Say; and more.

Ackman says "material progress" has been made at Valeant; Rubenstein surprised macro hedge funds failed to spectacularly; Key West police rescue woman from giant banyan tree; and more.

Kentucky Derby Picks for the Value Investor; NJ bank pays says directors more than at any finance firm; Bosses who got screwed for boning in the corner office; and more.

$$$ Arrests Near Stock Exchange Top 100 on Occupy Wall St. Anniversary [NYT] $$$ Pandit’s Censured Bonus Unhurt by Smith Barney Writedown [Bloomberg] $$$ America’s Fourth-Richest Woman Unveiled With Koch Stake [Bloomberg] $$$ The incidence of the corporate tax is progressive [WonkBlog] $$$ Apple sells 2 million new phones, sets early order record [Reuters] $$$ B-School Applicants Decline for Four Years [WSJ] $$$ "One sophomore, granted anonymity by The Crimson because she was afraid to be associated with a party that had been interrupted by police ... [said] 'Everyone at Harvard is very career-minded. No one likes the cops.'" [Crimson] $$$ A mid-sized global investment bank is looking for a senior quant developer for its FICC trading desk in New York [DBCC] $$$ "One could easily conclude that [corporate bond] ETFs are ending up with the inventory that dealers can’t manage themselves. Which makes perfect sense if you consider that ETFs are a great place for dealers to park inventory on a funded and risk-recycled basis." [FTAV] $$$ Euro crisis tests limits of "French exception" [Reuters] $$$ Schulze still trying to line up Best Buy bid funding [NYP] $$$ A federal court ruled that a fraternity is not a monastery for zoning purposes [VC] $$$ "A Wal-Mart cashier and manager tore up two $100 bills and held a customer for hours until police came and told the store the cash was legitimate, the furious customer claims in court." [CNS]

Valeant says short-seller's report is BS; Credit Suisse is a less hot version of UBS; Warren Buffett's li'l millionaires; The return of Greg Smith; "Alleged wedding crasher bites officer, police dog"; and more.