Poor Hasidic Jews Turned Wealthy Cash Advance Guys Wonder If There's More To Life Than "Golfing And F*cking Beautiful Ladies All Day"

The answer may surprise you.
Publish date:

Smiling on the outside, unfulfilled on the inside.

According to friends and business partners Abe Zeines and Meir Hurwitz, who decamped to Puerto Rico from Brooklyn for the tax benefits and live in a 6-bedroom house with several girlfriends apiece, there actually might be.

Zeines hasn’t learned Spanish or bought a boat. The mansion has what would be an infinity pool, but he doesn’t keep the water flowing over the edge. “Waste of money,” he says. For the Fourth of July, he had a pig slaughtered and roasted. The party was only OK. “It’s a matter of time before we get involved with something else,” Hurwitz says. “We can’t sit around and golf and f--- beautiful ladies all day.” Making some money hadn’t made Zeines happy; it just made him want more. “When I was younger, when I was poor,” he says, “I would have asked, ‘What’s the difference between $10 million and $100 million?’ There’s a difference.”

Plus, sitting around and golfing and f*cking beautiful ladies all day might sound like a dream life at first but what nobody ever tells you is it's really kind of back-breaking work! If your net worth goes from $10 million to $100 million you can pay someone to golf and f*ck beautiful ladies for you.

How Two Guys Lost God and Found $40 Million [Bloomberg]


Phil Falcone Is Turning His Life Around

To put it lightly, the last couple years have been a rather dark time for Phil Falcone. Though his woes are too numerous to mention in full, they include: the adversity he's faced in getting people to believe in LightSquared; his unbelievably pissy investors, who still aren't over the time he borrowed $113 million from a gated fund to pay personal taxes, or offered to pay out redemptions in illiquid LightSquared equity; the Securities and Exchange Commission, which wants him banned from the industry for life; the woman who once offered a respite from it all, who now won't even come out of her room when she knows he's home; and, of course, the plunging returns in his once highly profitable hedge fund. It would be enough to make a grown man say 'Fuck, it. I'm done.' Put a few things in a sack, tie it to the blade of a hockey stick, and hitchhike back to Minnesota. But Phil didn't do that and now? After a merciless storm of shit that felt like it would never ease up? After long days of investors and regulators breathing down his neck and nights of having to pound on the front door because he was accidentally purposely locked out of the house? The tide feels like it's turning for Philip Falcone. Beleaguered hedge fund honcho Phil Falcone’s big bet on his own publicly traded entity, Harbinger Group, is helping to lift his troubled hedge fund, Harbinger Capital Management, out of the deep end. Falcone’s flagship fund posted returns of 10.6 percent in July and a whopping 28 percent gain in June. Of course, he's still down 5.8 percent year-to-date, and the the director of the SEC's division of enforcement wants hedge fund graduate schools to use Harbinger as a case study during the unit on "how to operate a hedge fund unlawfully," but tonight? Tonight he tells Lisa to treat herself to something nice. Tonight he tells Wilbur to pull the baby grand out of the closet, where it's sat untouched for months. Tonight his key works in the lock. Tonight we dance. Phil Helps Himself [NYP]