$$$ Markets Cheer Europe Plan, Await Details [WSJ] $$$ Merkel Secures Vote for Euro Treaties [Der Spiegel] $$$ Icahn Takes Aim at Forest Lab’s Succession Plan [DealBook] $$$ Area man has no name, big idea: don't let poor people vote [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ [Mike Tyson] raised a few eyebrows when he tweeted: "Holyfield's ear would've been much better with his new BBQ sauce." Holyfield had used the social media forum to promote his new Real Deal BBQ Sauce on Twitter earlier in the day. "My realdealbbqsauce.com will make you take a bite out of someone's ear! Ask Mike Tyson – Luv ya bro!" [NYDN] $$$ Citi's alternative asset management platform Citi Capital Advisors is looking for an associate-level research analyst for its event-driven fund [DBCC] $$$ Counterparties feel effect of bank downgrades [FT] $$$ AB InBev, Modelo in $20.1 Billion Deal [WSJ] $$$ RIM’s Plunge Adds Pressure To ‘Sell, Break Up Or Die’ [Bloomberg] $$$ Gary Maggetti, general manager of food and beverage at [Disney theme park] California Adventure, says the chili cones are part of an effort by the world’s largest theme park operator to create dining options as special as its rides. Consumers, he says, are looking for “signature items that create unique food memories.” [BW]

$$$ U.S. Banks See Strong Profit [WSJ] $$$ U.S. court says Argentina does not need to make $250 mln deposit [Reuters] $$$ Former Goldman Director Gupta to Stay Free Pending His Appeal [DealBook] $$$ Banks book record profits off Fannie and Freddie [Term Sheet, related] $$$ "The online brokerage of Bank of America Merrill Lynch rolled out something it is calling Face Retirement. ... Here’s how it works: It’s a website that takes your current image, using a web cam, and makes you old and decrepit — the kind of person who will need some cash socked away." [Deal Journal] $$$ "Prosecutors said there is no such thing as a $500 million Federal Reserve note" [UPI] $$$ The CME is looking for an executive director for equity index products [DBCC] $$$ Corporate bond "turnover has not collapsed 80 percent in the same way as dealer inventory, and in fact daily volumes are on a par with where they were in 2007." [Bond Vigilantes] $$$ CME Deliverable ‘Swap Futures’ See Comfortable Debut [MarketBeat] $$$ High Rollers Are Still Big Losers 18 Months After Online Poker's "Black Friday" [BuzzFeed, also MR: "Even if some of these sites were fraudulent, one wonders if the players would not have better off without government 'protection.'"] $$$ The "gentleman groper" is a lawyer, not a banker [ATL, earlier] $$$ "Can a dog be trained to drive a car? New Zealand's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals proved it could be done." [CBS, video!!!]

Carl Icahn is angry with Bernie Sanders; John Mack invested with former LendingClub CEO; Krispy Kreme agrees to buyout; Japanese baseball game delayed when foul-smelling fish falls from the sky; and more.

$$$ As His Fraud Trial Opens, Ex-UBS Trader Is Accused of Brazen Gambling [DealBook] $$$ Thanks, Goldman, for Giving My Peers Their Lives Back [Bloomberg] $$$ FDIC’s Hoenig Wants Simpler Rules Than Basel III [Deal Journal] $$$ Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary demonstrations start tomorrow [The Awl] $$$ Hard-money types talk too much about the gold standard, not enough about the bacon standard [CNBC] $$$ "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny's she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." - Mitt Romney [DI] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for an insurance wholesaling director in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Miller Says U.S. Should Issue Simplified Volcker Rule [Bloomberg] $$$ Private equity needs more strategic deals [Term Sheet] $$$ Home Depot is leaving China, "where cheap labor has stunted the do-it-yourself ethos and apartment-based living leaves scarce demand for products like lumber" [WSJ] $$$ Allocating Risk Through Contract: Evidence from M&A and Policy Implications [Harvard Law] $$$ Naked German monk found wandering Bavarian forest after tripping on some bad berries [NYDN]

$$$ Volcker Rule Delay and Simplification Gains Support in Congress [Bloomberg] $$$ Fed Official Signals Guidance on 'Volcker Rule' [WSJ] $$$ UBS hires dealmaker Orcel [FT] $$$ Credit Suisse Names Sole Head of Investment Banking [DealBook] $$$ Drake's new music video will feature a re-enactment of his bar mitzvah [Miami Herald] $$$ AIG Repays $1.5 Billion, a Year Ahead of Schedule [CNBC] $$$ Student-Loan Debt Tops $1 Trillion [WSJ] $$$ Allen Stanford’s Twitter Complaint Fails to Win Retrial [Bloomberg] $$$ "[E]mail has to be replaced with a new protocol. This new protocol should be a todo list protocol, not a messaging protocol, although there is a degenerate case where what someone wants you to do is: read the following text." [Paul Graham] $$$ Bid-ask spreads will getcha [Economix]

$$$ Bonus cuts hide bigger problem for investment banks [FT] $$$ Newsletter Flagged Possible 'Japanese Madoff' in 2009 [WSJ] $$$ Gray in position to succeed Schwarzman [FT] $$$ Apple would like to break the law of large numbers, for very loose definitions of "the law of large numbers" (or very strong forms of EMH?) [NYT] $$$ BREAKING: Jim Chanos eats bread [BI] $$$ Lenny Dykstra can go to Gary Carter's funeral [NYP]

Janet Yellen does nothing; Bitcoin is legit; "Taylor Swift's face etched in 12-acre corn maze"; and more.

$$$ Schapiro Questions Role of High-Frequency Traders [WSJ] $$$ Morgan Stanley veterans plan advisory boutique Dean Bradley Osborne or DBO Partners [FT] $$$ Charlie Gasparino: Preet Bharara plans to profit from taking credit for insider trading prosecutions [FBN] $$$ New York Federal Reserve Said to Plan Sale of AIG-Linked Mortgage Bonds [Bloomberg] $$$ UWS lawyer's wife paid $42,388 so husband could meet Knicks' Lin, take home jersey [NYP] $$$ A leading private equity firm is looking for an Energy associate [eFinancial Careers]