David Einhorn predicts great things for Greenlight; Paul Singer goes hunting; Fantasy sports > Wall Street; "Ex-Met Lenny Dykstra says he spent $500,000 on private investigators to blackmail umpires for smaller strike zone"; and more.

$$$ In Victory for Google, U.S. Ends Antitrust Investigation [NYT] $$$ Scandal Hits Greek Tourism Agency [WSJ] $$$ Fairytale of New York — in pari passu, anyway [FTAV] $$$ John McAfee Pimped Out 29 ‘Pillow Talk Masters’ to Spy on Belize: Here’s What He Found [NYO] $$$ Russia grants citizenship to Depardieu [FT, outstanding photo] $$$ A little bit of adolescent pushback, as teens begin to express their individuality, is good, said Leslie Whitten Baughman, a child therapist with a practice in Sacramento. But drugging your parents "would not be a healthy level of rebellion." [Sac Bee] $$$ A top electronic trading firm is looking for a C++ developer in LA [DBCC] $$$ Transocean to pay $1.4 billion for role in BP oil spill [Reuters] $$$ "Loblaw Buying Canada Safeway No Pipe Dream in Spinoff" [Bloomberg!] $$$ The Macroeconomics of Middle Earth [WCI] $$$ Why Are Dogs Racist? Canine Experts Speak [Gawker] $$$ Drew Magary profiles Snoop Lion (né Snoop Dogg) [GQ]

$$$ Nasdaq, Carlyle Discussed Deal [WSJ] $$$ Investing in Water Good Long-Term Bet, Goldman Head Says [Bloomberg] $$$ U.S. judge speeds up schedule in Apple vs Einhorn case [Reuters] $$$ Here you can read a debate about central banking and bubbles [Free Exchange, Money Illusion] $$$ Sports Illustrated Celebrates Launch of the 2013 Swimsuit Franchise by ringing the bell at the NYSE [NYX] $$$ A leading boutique investment bank is looking for a Healthcare associate or VP in New York [DBCC] $$$ Porsche Manipulation Probe Extended to Supervisory Board [Bloomberg] $$$ Bank of New York loses bid for $900 mln tax benefit [Reuters] $$$ RBS chairman says CEO's pay is "modest" [Reuters] $$$ Maker’s Mark Is Watering Down Its Bourbon [Grub Street]

$$$ S.E.C. Charges the Chinese Affiliates of 5 Big Accounting Firms [DealBook] $$$ Morgan Stanley wealth unit aims to close lending gap [Reuters] $$$ "Through the end of November, U.S. companies with below investment-grade ratings sold $854 billion in junk-rated bonds and 'leveraged' loans, a record amount that outpaces the $785 billion sold in all of 2011 and even the $825 billion sold in 2007 before the financial crisis." [Deal Journal] $$$ Is Spying on Corporate Jets Insider Trading? [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ 180 Minutes With [former Top Model contestant and current Citi equity derivatives saleswoman] Kim Stolz [NYM, earlier] $$$ The Pope will start tweeting eventually [NYT] $$$ A top-tier financial firm is looking for a securities lending analyst in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Credit Suisse is paying negative interest rates on some SFr cash balances [FTAV] $$$ Lawyer Says Trader Did Not Manipulate Market [DealBook] $$$ Oracle to Pay Three Dividends in December [WSJ] $$$ El Paso's $110 mln settlement over Kinder Morgan deal approved [Reuters] $$$ Romney Rejoins Board of Marriott [WSJ] $$$ Whisky Restores Eyesight of Man Who Was Blinded by Vodka [Gawker]

$$$ Spain's Recession to Linger as Austerity Bites [WSJ] $$$ Euro Bailout Bid Gets Vote Of No-Confidence [Bloomberg] $$$ As the Justice Department weighs the possibility of criminal charges in the unfolding Libor rate-setting scandal, it may want to consider the record of the Swiss banking giant UBS. At UBS, a series of immunity, nonprosecution and deferred prosecution agreements in recent years — evidently the government’s preferred approach to corporate crime — seems to have had scant, if any, deterrent effect. “It’s depressing,” Representative Peter Welch, Democrat of Vermont, a member of the House oversight committee, told me this week after we discussed UBS’s recent transgressions. “The Justice Department has to decide: Is the day of consent decrees and settlements, where you pay a fine, one passed on to shareholders, are those days over? Are the days of jail time here?” [NYT] $$$ Jamie Dimon Opens Wallet For JPMorgan Shares, Picks Up 500000‎ [Forbes] $$$ Someone stole hundreds of David Hasseloff life-sized cutouts [NYDN] $$$ Credit Suisse chair says board backs Dougan [Reuters] $$$ Ex-BofA Executive Indicted For Fraud In Municipal Bond Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ BMW ‘stolen’ from Hooters is found [WaPo]

$$$ A Nobel Prize for Market Design [Digitopoly via @Counterparties] $$$ Study shows $1.2 trillion gap for public pensions [Reuters] $$$ RBS Said to Suspend European Rates Trading Head on Libor [Bloomberg] $$$ Softbank to Buy Sprint Nextel for About $20 Billion [WSJ] $$$ "The study's results identified three factors that groups with high team intelligence possess: The ability of group members to read and respond to social cues; The proportion of women in the group (women tend to do better on social perception tests); Evenly distributed conversational turn-taking, rather than dominance by a few members." [HBR] $$$ Paul Ryan Scrubs Already Washed Soup-Kitchen Pots Because That’s How Much He Cares [DI] $$$ A top investment bank is looking for a director-level global markets risk senior manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Names Bayo Ogunlesi to Its Board [DealBook] $$$ Basel liquidity rules and their impact on the interbank money market [VoxEU] $$$ "Squirrels don’t lobby Congress, when the ranger decides to burn down the bit of the forest where their acorns are buried. Banks and their creditors are unlikely to take 'controlled burns' of their institutions so stoically." [interfluidity] $$$ This is an amusing story about a research analyst screwing up a model to show a covered company needing $500mm of capital instead of the correct $50mm [Integrity Research Watch] $$$ Koch brothers’ company encourages employees to vote for Romney in mass mailing [NYDN]

Credit Suisse stock sale; Twitter layoffs; Most expensive Cubs tickets ever; Dov Charney still haunts American Apparel; "Bunny Ranch brothel to offer student debt relief"; and more.

$$$ G8 leaders urged to focus talks on growth [FT] $$$ JPMorgan Returned $168M To MF Global, Trustee Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Chesapeake Cuts Board Compensation [WSJ] $$$ Ben Horowitz: MBAs aren't as bad as everyone thinks [PandoDaily] $$$ Bloomberg TV's Matt Miller vents about Nasdaq FB glitches to NYSE traders [Bloomberg TV] $$$ Boston radio talk show host Howie Carr released evidence that appears to confirm [Elizabeth] Warren may have plagiarized at least three of the five recipes she submitted to the 1984 Pow Wow Chow cookbook edited by her cousin Candy Rowsey. Two of the possibly plagiarized recipes, said in the Pow Wow Chow cookbook to have been passed down through generations of Oklahoma Native American members of the Cherokee tribe, are described in a New York Times News Service story as originating at Le Pavilion, a fabulously expensive French restaurant in Manhattan. The dishes were said to be particular favorites of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Cole Porter. The two recipes, "Cold Omelets with Crab Meat" and "Crab with Tomato Mayonnaise Dressing," appear in an article titled “Cold Omelets with Crab Meat,” written by Pierre Franey of the New York Times News Service that was published in the August 22, 1979 edition of the Virgin Islands Daily News ... [Breitbart via DI] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a VP in Global Regulatory Policy in New York [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan to be haunted by change in risk model [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan unit has $100bn of risky bonds [FT] $$$ Galleon prosecutor aims to cement legacy in U.S. Gupta trial $$$ The government should fine the hell out of Rajat Gupta instead of criminally prosecuting him [Slate] $$$ Cannibal allowed to leave mental hospital for a stroll, just four years after he beheaded and ate sleeping bus passenger [Daily Mail]