Dov Charney hires investment bank in comeback bid; Draghi says ECB not finished here; Yahoo sale; Florida 'DUI expert' charged with DUI; and more.

"A Colleague Drank My Breast Milk and Other Wall Street Tales"; Carson Block launches hedge fund; Dov Charney has a plan; New Yorker Posts Brooklyn Igloo on Airbnb During Blizzard, Only $200 a Night; and more.

Promontory Financial settles; Hedge funds feeling FitBit; Dov Charney The Musical; "Man Wanted For Throwing Pornographic Paper Airplane"; and more.

Jefferies reports losses; RBS plans cuts; Short who got Valeant right on trial; Drunken circus worker takes tiger cub for a walk at shopping mall; and more.

$$$ Volcker Rule Delay and Simplification Gains Support in Congress [Bloomberg] $$$ Fed Official Signals Guidance on 'Volcker Rule' [WSJ] $$$ UBS hires dealmaker Orcel [FT] $$$ Credit Suisse Names Sole Head of Investment Banking [DealBook] $$$ Drake's new music video will feature a re-enactment of his bar mitzvah [Miami Herald] $$$ AIG Repays $1.5 Billion, a Year Ahead of Schedule [CNBC] $$$ Student-Loan Debt Tops $1 Trillion [WSJ] $$$ Allen Stanford’s Twitter Complaint Fails to Win Retrial [Bloomberg] $$$ "[E]mail has to be replaced with a new protocol. This new protocol should be a todo list protocol, not a messaging protocol, although there is a degenerate case where what someone wants you to do is: read the following text." [Paul Graham] $$$ Bid-ask spreads will getcha [Economix]

$$$ Citigroup could be surprise winner in stress tests [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Buoyed by Credit Rally Seen Leading Bank Trading Gains [Bloomberg] $$$ Will Portugal Follow Greece Into Debt Relief? [NetNet] $$$ Highland Capital is looking for a distressed investments senior analyst-- you? [DBCC] $$$ Wily, Elusive Foragers Invade Upstate New York [NYT] $$$ Bradley H. Jack a former investment banking chief at Lehman and an owner the most expensive residential property in Fairfield, has been charged for the second time in less than a year with forging a prescription for a controlled substance. [CTP] $$$ Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit Says Anger With Wall Street Is ‘Understandable’ [NYO] $$$ Peter Thiel, university-hater, heads to campus [Reuters] $$$ Groupon of a lifetime: "$12,500 for a signed Titanic DVD and 13-day ocean voyage with tour of the Titanic (a $59,680 value); departs from St. John’s, Newfoundland, on July 26 and returns August 8" [G]

$$$ G8 leaders urged to focus talks on growth [FT] $$$ JPMorgan Returned $168M To MF Global, Trustee Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Chesapeake Cuts Board Compensation [WSJ] $$$ Ben Horowitz: MBAs aren't as bad as everyone thinks [PandoDaily] $$$ Bloomberg TV's Matt Miller vents about Nasdaq FB glitches to NYSE traders [Bloomberg TV] $$$ Boston radio talk show host Howie Carr released evidence that appears to confirm [Elizabeth] Warren may have plagiarized at least three of the five recipes she submitted to the 1984 Pow Wow Chow cookbook edited by her cousin Candy Rowsey. Two of the possibly plagiarized recipes, said in the Pow Wow Chow cookbook to have been passed down through generations of Oklahoma Native American members of the Cherokee tribe, are described in a New York Times News Service story as originating at Le Pavilion, a fabulously expensive French restaurant in Manhattan. The dishes were said to be particular favorites of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Cole Porter. The two recipes, "Cold Omelets with Crab Meat" and "Crab with Tomato Mayonnaise Dressing," appear in an article titled “Cold Omelets with Crab Meat,” written by Pierre Franey of the New York Times News Service that was published in the August 22, 1979 edition of the Virgin Islands Daily News ... [Breitbart via DI] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a VP in Global Regulatory Policy in New York [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan to be haunted by change in risk model [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan unit has $100bn of risky bonds [FT] $$$ Galleon prosecutor aims to cement legacy in U.S. Gupta trial $$$ The government should fine the hell out of Rajat Gupta instead of criminally prosecuting him [Slate] $$$ Cannibal allowed to leave mental hospital for a stroll, just four years after he beheaded and ate sleeping bus passenger [Daily Mail]

$$$ Goldman Fined for Failing to Block Trader’s $8.3 Billion Bet [Bloomberg] $$$ Key SEC Holdout in Money-Fund Overhaul Reverses Stance [WSJ] $$$ Canada Approves Cnooc-Nexen Deal [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan nears £500m bonus tax deal [FT] $$$ Rant: At Top Law Firms, a Class Conflict During Bonus Season [BBW / Elie Mystal] $$$ Lloyd bought a house [DealBook] $$$ The 200 West Street Goldman cafeteria (1) is really very good, (2) features food from a former banker [DealBook] $$$ 100 Women in Hedge Funds names Ivanka Trump to its board, consists of 10,000 women, mostly not in hedge funds [AR] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit officer for securities backed lending in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ Morgan Stanley's 2013 adviser pay to reward new loans [Reuters] $$$ Brokers Must Disclose Bonuses to Clients in Finra Proposal [Bloomberg] $$$ "It’s always a mistake to use microeconomic intuition in macro," quantitative easing edition [Scott Sumner] $$$ Whale’s Trade in Comeback as Junk Fervor Fades [Bloomberg] $$$ "If Harvard wishes to retain its primary existence as a gigantic profit-maximizing hedge fund ..." [American Conservative via John Carney] $$$ Ivy League Cracks Down as Students Spiral Out of Control [Bloomberg] $$$ "I am tired of fooling around, he said. I’m forming a legal team. We have case studies, an office outside Lexington. He swept the strips off the table and held the beak in the air. We’re looking for a poet to write our anthem!" [The Awl]