Dov Charney hires investment bank in comeback bid; Draghi says ECB not finished here; Yahoo sale; Florida 'DUI expert' charged with DUI; and more.

Promontory Financial settles; Hedge funds feeling FitBit; Dov Charney The Musical; "Man Wanted For Throwing Pornographic Paper Airplane"; and more.

"A Colleague Drank My Breast Milk and Other Wall Street Tales"; Carson Block launches hedge fund; Dov Charney has a plan; New Yorker Posts Brooklyn Igloo on Airbnb During Blizzard, Only $200 a Night; and more.

Jefferies reports losses; RBS plans cuts; Short who got Valeant right on trial; Drunken circus worker takes tiger cub for a walk at shopping mall; and more.

$$$ Citigroup could be surprise winner in stress tests [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Buoyed by Credit Rally Seen Leading Bank Trading Gains [Bloomberg] $$$ Will Portugal Follow Greece Into Debt Relief? [NetNet] $$$ Highland Capital is looking for a distressed investments senior analyst-- you? [DBCC] $$$ Wily, Elusive Foragers Invade Upstate New York [NYT] $$$ Bradley H. Jack a former investment banking chief at Lehman and an owner the most expensive residential property in Fairfield, has been charged for the second time in less than a year with forging a prescription for a controlled substance. [CTP] $$$ Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit Says Anger With Wall Street Is ‘Understandable’ [NYO] $$$ Peter Thiel, university-hater, heads to campus [Reuters] $$$ Groupon of a lifetime: "$12,500 for a signed Titanic DVD and 13-day ocean voyage with tour of the Titanic (a $59,680 value); departs from St. John’s, Newfoundland, on July 26 and returns August 8" [G]

"North Korea Is Newest Frontier for a Daredevil Investor"; Goldman likes IEX; Man trying to buy Powerball ticket gets trapped at bottom of giant hole; and more.

$$$ G8 leaders urged to focus talks on growth [FT] $$$ JPMorgan Returned $168M To MF Global, Trustee Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Chesapeake Cuts Board Compensation [WSJ] $$$ Ben Horowitz: MBAs aren't as bad as everyone thinks [PandoDaily] $$$ Bloomberg TV's Matt Miller vents about Nasdaq FB glitches to NYSE traders [Bloomberg TV] $$$ Boston radio talk show host Howie Carr released evidence that appears to confirm [Elizabeth] Warren may have plagiarized at least three of the five recipes she submitted to the 1984 Pow Wow Chow cookbook edited by her cousin Candy Rowsey. Two of the possibly plagiarized recipes, said in the Pow Wow Chow cookbook to have been passed down through generations of Oklahoma Native American members of the Cherokee tribe, are described in a New York Times News Service story as originating at Le Pavilion, a fabulously expensive French restaurant in Manhattan. The dishes were said to be particular favorites of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Cole Porter. The two recipes, "Cold Omelets with Crab Meat" and "Crab with Tomato Mayonnaise Dressing," appear in an article titled “Cold Omelets with Crab Meat,” written by Pierre Franey of the New York Times News Service that was published in the August 22, 1979 edition of the Virgin Islands Daily News ... [Breitbart via DI] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a VP in Global Regulatory Policy in New York [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan to be haunted by change in risk model [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan unit has $100bn of risky bonds [FT] $$$ Galleon prosecutor aims to cement legacy in U.S. Gupta trial $$$ The government should fine the hell out of Rajat Gupta instead of criminally prosecuting him [Slate] $$$ Cannibal allowed to leave mental hospital for a stroll, just four years after he beheaded and ate sleeping bus passenger [Daily Mail]

$$$ Geithner plans financial crisis book [CNN, earlier] $$$ Former Top Media Banker Sues Los Angeles and 2 Police Officers [DealBook, earlier] $$$ LionTree Advisors zooms up the M&A league tables [Bloomberg] $$$ "In his closely watched annual letter, Tilson said his Kase Fund - formerly T2 Partners before he split with Glenn Tongue last year - lost 1.7 percent compared to the Standard & Poor's 500 total return of 16 percent. He attributed the weakness to a highly correlated market that made divergences difficult to find." [CNBC] $$$ Ask Matt Taibbi anything on Reddit tomorrow [RS] $$$ Employment Agency Apologizes For Hooking Teen Up with Brothel Job [Gawker] $$$ PSEG is looking for a quantitative analyst to join its Energy Resource and Trade business in Newark [DBCC] $$$ RBS didn't admit to systematically lowering Libor during the crisis [Bloomberg] $$$ TIPS spreads remain correlated with equities [Money Illusion] $$$ Money Market Funds Intermediation, Bank Instability, and Contagion [FRBNY] $$$ The Risk Ownership Society [Dissent / Steve Randy Waldman] $$$ Christie Calls Doctor Who Raised Weight Concerns a ‘Hack’ [Bloomberg]