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Yahoo Is Having A Pretty Sh!tty Day

At Yahoo, they now just call this "Monday."

Things haven't been easy for Marissa Mayer and her Yahoos in recent months, but not to worry because things are getting... worse.

It's just super embarrassing over at Yahoo right now, you guys.

Take for instance Yahoo's content deal with Snapchat. All the cool kids are now getting news from the the same app that they use to share disappearing naked crotch selfies, and Marissa got Yahoo a pretty sweet shot at capturing all those young eyeballs.

Per Fast Company...

When Snapchat launched Discover, a selection of editorial videos from publishers updated daily, it debuted the feature with a spectrum of media brands. Included in the inaugural group of 12 Discover channels were content creators like Comedy Central, Vice, Cosmopolitan—and Yahoo, whose channel was headlined by none other than Yahoo News anchor Katie Couric.

Awesome, right? A new deal with Snapchat will surely give Yahoo the chance it needs to offset all the bad Mayer acquisitions. Alibaba be damned, Yahoo was going back to the future.

Only one small problem; when Millennials look at Katie Couric, they're less "Hey, trusted news lady" and more "New phone, who dis?"

In Yahoo’s case, [Snapchat CEO] Spiegel kicked off the relationship directly with Katie Couric, but its global news anchor ended up being part of the problem. Most Yahoo content opened like an old-school news broadcast, with Couric sitting at a desk, reading into the camera, followed by a long cut to the Yahoo logo. Kids couldn’t tune out fast enough.

Long story short, Yahoo doesn't have a Snapchat Discover channel anymore. That's a total bummer on its own, but the fact that BuzzFeed took it over makes Yahoo's waning relevancy even more apparent.

How uncool is Yahoo in the Valley right now? Well, it got dumped like the junior high kid who has yet to learn about deodorant...

Though Snapchat met with Yahoo in an effort to help improve its ratings, it wasn't long before BuzzFeed was on the company's radar. Yahoo heard through the grapevine that BuzzFeed was joining Discover and figured out it was getting dumped.

Oh, but that's not all.

According to Bloomberg, another thing that Yahoo doesn't have anymore is a chief development officer.

Jacqueline Reses is departing Yahoo! Inc., where she had been chief development officer, to join Dorsey’s Square Inc., helping boost the startup’s executive team while dealing a blow to the Web portal, according to people familiar with the matter, who asked not to be identified as the matter is private.

Reses was a chief Mayer lieutenant who had recently shifted into a role that basically made her Yahoo's point person in its precariously symbiotic relationship with Alibaba. With regards to Alibaba, Reses timing could have been worse... but not much.

Reses’s exit comes at a delicate time, as Yahoo is planning to spin off its stake of about 15 percent in Alibaba by the end of the year. Yahoo investors have assigned the majority of the company’s stock value to its Asian assets with little left over for the Web portal’s main business.

And to top off Marissa Mayer's super-bad case of "The Mondays," her BFF, NYU Stern Professor Scott Galloway took to the airwaves to talk about what a uniquely sh!tty CEO she is.

"It should be sold," Galloway told Bloomberg's Betty Liu, referring to Yahoo. "It's the most trafficked website in the world, someone should be able to monetize that. You've had digital marketing double in the past few years from about $80 billion to about $160 billion, and Marissa's been able to explode the company from about $5 billion to $4.9 [billion]."

Hey, at least he didnt't talk about her uterus (at least directly).


Yahoo Executive Reses Said to Leave Company to Join Square [Bloomberg]

Yahoo Should Be Sold: Galloway [Bloomberg]


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