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Congressman Warns Janet Yellen About Implicitly Satanic Winter Rate Hikes

J-Yells might as well proclaim "Hail Satan" if she hike rates before the bloom is upon the rose.

Janet Yellen got up this morning, looked at her schedule, presumably decided to have a few mimosas, and then dragged herself before the U.S. House of Representatives to answer mostly terrible questions about the economy.

Filling in for Fed's vice chairman of supervision (since there still isn't one), J-Yells probably hoped for the best when she walked into the House Financial Services Committee hearing this morning. There would probably be a lot of questions about regulation and the like but she knew that there would be some chatting about whether or not she's gonna hike those rates in December.

Maybe that would be a moment of high-intellectual economic debate, and a break from having to pretend she respects the opinion of that one congressman who was on "The Real World: Boston."

Instead, she got this:

That's legally-elected United States Congressman Brad Sherman (D-CA) telling the Chairwoman of The Federal Reserve that God would prefer she wait until spring to raise interest rates, because nature(?)

Here is the full text of Sherman's comment:

"God’s plan is not for things to rise in the autumn. As a matter of fact, that’s why we call it Fall. Nor is it God’s plan for things to rise in the winter, throug the snow. God’s plan is that things rise in the spring. So, if you want to be good with The Almighty, you might want to delay until May."

The committee has also asked Yellen to make her bi-annual visits to the House into a four times a year thing. While we have yet to confirm, we are pretty sure that we heard her mutter something about preferring to shove her hands in a blender.



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