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Opening Bell: 11.10.15

JP Morgan hacked; Ackman wishes he'd bought more Valeant; Snapchat closes in on Facebook; Martin Shrkeli wants to work for Bernie Sanders; "Naked Man Survives Shark Attack At Hawaii Nude Beach"; and more.
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JPMorgan Among Victims of Vast Criminal Hacking Enterprise (Bloomberg)
JPMorgan Chase & Co. (NYSE: JPM) was among the targets of the biggest theft of customer data from U.S. financial institutions in history, prosecutors said in announcing charges against four men accused of running online schemes including stock manipulation and casino gambling that generated hundreds of millions of dollars.

Ackman's Biggest Valeant Regret Is Being Unable to Buy More (Bloomberg)
Billionaire hedge fund investor Bill Ackman tried again Monday to shore up support for Valeant Pharmaceuticals International Inc. (NYSE: VRX), saying the drugmaker has been “largely a victim of fear and panic.” “The biggest regret I have with Valeant is that we’re not in a position to buy more,” Ackman said on a conference call Monday defending the company and his firm’s 21 million shares his firm holds.

Bernie Sanders Finds an Unlikely Prospective Intern in Turing's Martin Shkreli (Bloomberg)
Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO Martin Shkreli, whom Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders's campaign has called a “poster boy for drug company greed,” tweeted on Monday that he has applied to intern for the Vermont senator. “I filled out an internship application for @BernieSanders. If you can't beat em...” Shkreli wrote. Sanders's team—tweeting from his official Senate account—didn't miss a beat. “You must complete all sections of the application in order to be considered for the position,” the senator's staff replied to the drug company executive.

Naked Man Survives Shark Attack At Hawaii Nude Beach (HP)
Paul O'Leary, a regular nude swimmer on Hawaii's Big Island, maintained his relaxed vibe after a shark emerged from the murky waters and bit his right leg last Tuesday. At first, he thought he had just scraped his foot on something sharp, but as he tried to swim back to shore, he found that he couldn't kick his foot. Upon closer inspection, he saw skin hanging off of it, local news station KITV reported. Unable to move his foot, he did the breast stroke back to shore while yelling for help. That's when Richard Dingman, another man who had been swimming in the nude that day, swam to his rescue. "I didn't hear a whimper out of him," Dingman told the Hawaii Tribune-Herald. "It actually made me more worried. I thought maybe he was going out or something. But, no, he was just really calm."

Snapchat triples video traffic as it closes the gap with Facebook (FT)
Snapchat is closing the gap with Facebook (NASD: FB) in the social networks’ battle for scale in video. The number of videos viewed on messaging app Snapchat every day has tripled since May to 6bn, according to people close to the company. That compares with the 8bn daily video views announced by Facebook last week, which has doubled from 4bn in April. Facebook’s figure includes both desktop and mobile views, while Snapchat’s audience — though smaller in size overall — is entirely made up of smartphone users.

Buffett's $1 Billion Purchase That Got Buried in Record Quarter (Bloomberg)
Here’s how big Berkshire Hathaway Inc. (NYSE: BRK-B) has gotten: At the end of the third quarter, a subsidiary of one of its subsidiaries bought some 25,000 tank cars from General Electric Co. (NYSE: GE) and didn’t bother disclosing the purchase price. Turns out it paid about $1 billion...“For a company of this complexity and vastness, the level of disclosure -- while improved from a couple of years ago -- is certainly not what it should be,” Cathy Seifert, an equity analyst at Standard & Poor’s Capital IQ, said in a phone interview after results were announced.

Glenview fund execs are neighbors in new Manhattan luxury tower (Reuters)
Three employees of hedge fund firm Glenview Capital Management, including billionaire founder Larry Robbins, can expect to cross paths at home as well as work after spending more than $50 million on apartments in the same Manhattan luxury building...The lavish purchases by Robbins and two lieutenants were closed on earlier this year before Glenview was stung by some bad bets in the healthcare sector, helping depress its main hedge fund, which is down about 12.5 percent this year as of Nov. 6, according to one of the people.

Eighth Grade Homework Assignment Asks About One-Night-Stands and Herpes (NBC Philly)
Amy Loper, a Cumberland County mother told NBC10 her 13-year-old son, an eighth grader at Myron L. Powell Elementary School in Cedarville, New Jersey, received a homework assignment with the following prompt: "You had a really rotten day, but lucky for you your best friend is having an awesome party later. You go to the party and start drinking. You have a little too much to drink and start talking to this girl/guy you’ve never seen before. You head upstairs to get better acquainted despite several friends telling you that you don’t even know this person. You end up having sex with this person. The next day you really can’t remember everything that happened and rely on your best friend to fill you in. A week later you find out that you contracted herpes from your one night stand and that this is a disease you will have all your life and never know when an outbreak will occur." The assignment was to identify the student's reactive response to the given situation.


Former AIG CEO Hank Greenberg (Getty Images)

Opening Bell: 5.10.17

Greenberg won't see any more green; Hertz bet bites Icahn; Jimmy John denies humping shark in the nude; and more.

Opening Bell: 11.4.15

Spoofing trader found guilty; Goldman probed; Ackman loses big on Valeant; Icahn plays coy on Valeant; "You Can Finally Get Bernie Sanders-Themed Undies"; and more.

Opening Bell: 4.29.16

Valeant to replace up to 5 board members; Healthcare still fueling M&A; Drunken Ohio couple busted naked in their car, told police 'the mood' hit; and more.

Getty Images

Opening Bell: 7.5.16

Italian banks are screwed; Barclays traders found guilty of Libor rigging; Can SnapChat survive old people?; Joey Chestnut eats way back to Nathan's hot dog eating title; and more.

Opening Bell: 9.3.15

Private equity eyes Petco; Hedge fund losses; "Who Wants to Ring the Closing Bell on Bad Days?"; Puerto Rico still not doing so hot; "Hawaii woman announces plan to use dolphin as a midwife"; and more.

Opening Bell: 2.18.15

Snapchat thinks it's worth $19 billion; Volatility is interrupting nat-gas traders' sleep; BATS is going to try this IPO thing one more time; 12k snake deal ends in murder; AND MORE.

Opening Bell: 9.2.15

Blythe Masters's next act; Canada's commodities woes; IMF's Asia warning; "Day Care Teachers Encouraged Kids to Brawl, Posted 'Fight Club' Videos to Snapchat: Prosecutors"; and more.

By Evan-Amos (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

Opening Bell: 8.31.16

El-Erian sees September rate hike; The CIA has a venture capital firm; Paris targeting Brexit jobs; Police hunt for armed, naked candy bandit; and more.