Police Academy 8: Corporate Raiders!

Just a little off the sides, man.

Not this, please.

Ordered to the Academy barbershop by Lt. Icahn and Capt. Paulson, cadet AIG is hoping to get away with something in between a cheeky “just a little off the sides” and handing the clippers over to the hedge funds.

AIG is think something a little sleeker, a little more modern, a little less attractive to the today’s activists. But nothing too drastic.

Mr. Hancock and AIG (NYSE: AIG) Chief Financial Officer David Herzog sought to clarify some previous comments from the company’s executives about “sculpting” its portfolio of businesses, Mr. Stirling said. They said those comments shouldn’t be interpreted “merely as pruning or using ‘nail clippers,’” but on the other hand they don’t want to take a “machete”‘ to the company either. In other words, AIG is seeking “a middle ground and measured approach,” according to Mr. Stirling….

AIG “reiterated the view that it has no intention” of breaking up, Credit Suisse’s (NYSE: CS) Mr. Gallagher wrote.

AIG’s Response to Break-Up Pressure: Between ‘Nail Clippers’ and ‘Machete’ [WSJ MoneyBeat blog]