$$$ "Bernanke Signals Readiness to Do More" [WSJ] $$$ "Judgment Days Arrive for Euro Crisis" [WSJ] $$$ Spain To Recapitalize Bankia After 4.45 Billion-Euro Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ Nomura’s Failed Global Ambitions [DealBook] $$$ Quebec Whodunit: 1/4 of Province’s Syrup Reserves Go Missing [WSJ] $$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday! $$$ A global investment bank is looking for an experienced metals options trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ Facebook hits new low after price target cuts [Reuters] $$$ Here is some hedge fund Weltschmerz [FT] $$$ Here is a really depressing story about student loans [NYT] $$$ Some people still don't like PowerPoint [BBW] $$$ "In general, rabbits preferred the higher resolution of the MacBook, whereas squirrels favored the larger screen of the Toshiba. Chipmunks were too hyperactive to linger around either device, even though I sprinkled the keyboards liberally with birdseed, which chipmunks seem to enjoy far more than birds do. I do not recommend this practice ..." [NYT]

Yahoo; Argentina; Banker prison; Airbnb offers bedroom submerged in Paris shark tank; and more.

SnapChat valued at $18 billion; Why Phil Mickelson didn’t get busted; South Carolina man applied for loan so he could purchase meth; and more.

Cliff Asness didn't like the rich hedge fund manager list; The legal tweak that led to disaster for Lending Club; SnapChat founder buys Harrison Ford's old house; Virginia woman pole dances for her 100th birthday; and more.

Dick Fuld is back; Greece still has no money; Hostess is worth $2 billion; "A quarter of Harvard grads have never gotten laid"; and more.

Buffett bond sale; Citi brings stress test guru out of retirement; Hedge funds think Warby Parker worth $1 billion; "Man Invents Creepy Talking Girlfriend Pillow"; AND MORE.

$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]

$$$ Euro-Zone Leaders Step Up Greece Contingency Plans [WSJ] $$$ Facebook Banks Said To Make $100 Million On Stabilizing Stock [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ The Modest Worth of Big Banks [NYT] $$$ Cardiff Garcia on Brad DeLong on Walter Bagehot [FTAV] $$$ "While we’re on the subject, we’d be remiss not to note that Mr. Muniyappa wore jeans and an untucked plaid button down, prompting New York Times legal eagle Peter Lattman to poll observers on the last time they’d seen a witness take the stand without a necktie. 'Maybe not at the trials The Times covers,' a wiseacre snapped." [NYO] $$$ Stress! An Energy Source Of The Future? [The Awl] $$$ "Representing the sovereign in these affairs is just more fun. It is a mixture of politics, finance and law, and theater," [sovereign restructuring lawyer Lee Buchheit] said. Buchheit recalled an Asian finance minister - referring to her only as "The Iron Lady" - resting a hand on his arm as tension mounted at 3 a.m. in a marathon meeting and saying: "I know you'll get us through this." [Reuters] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit stress testing analyst in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ China plans brokerage reforms to create its own Goldman Sachs [Reuters] $$$ In defense of private equity: Japan [Noahpinion] $$$ Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned in Business [DI] $$$ ALF Creator Paul Fusco Thinks ‘Timing is Right’ for an ALF Movie [Gawker]