Ex-Citi exec claims whistleblower mistreatment; Marissa Mayer dodges bullet; So it turns out my dead father worked in porn; and more.

Ex-Goldman banker acquitted in rape case; Ex-UBS banker working with drones; Ex-Fed Chairman will limit himself to 2 hedge fund consulting gigs (plus blogging job); "Trooper In Trouble For Snoop Dogg Photo Sues Bosses"; and more.

$$$ JPMorgan is the best place to work, according to the Vault Guide [DealBook] $$$ "Morgan Stanley's wealth management chief, Greg Fleming, has just concluded a seven-city tour of the firm’s brokerage offices in an attempt to stem a broker revolt over the company’s new technology system that contains so many glitches that brokers often cannot sign-up new clients." [FBN, earlier] $$$ Ex-Jet Chrebet Among Top Wealth Managers Leaving Morgan Stanley for Barclays [Deal Journal] $$$ A fourth trader under scrutiny in JPM "Whale" probe [Reuters] $$$ "What the ECB is doing, in essence, is setting itself up as the shadow government of Italy, Spain, Portugal, and perhaps Ireland." [Slate / Matt Yglesias] $$$ Court to decide if lap dancing is a tax-exempt art form [USAT] $$$ Morgan Stanley Smith Barney is looking for a suspicious activity monitoring and investigations analyst [DBCC] $$$ Greenhill Expands Capital Advisory Group [DealBook] $$$ Investors are buying California school district bonds [WSJ] $$$ The ‘mystery Libor’ precedent [FTAV] $$$ Why Yes, It Is Time for Homemade Satellites [BBW] $$$ What Famous People Smell Like [The Awl]

Dead bulls walking; Pimco on Fed; Paulson on China; Quirky files for bankruptcy; Pasta Passes sell out in < 1 second; "PETA sues to give monkey ownership of selfie"; and more.

$$$ Former Barclays trader "has cooperated" with Libor probe [Reuters] $$$ Towards a transaction-based Libor [FTAV, and the Wheatley Review] $$$ Carl Levin not letting up on Goldman Sachs [Politico] $$$ SEC Asked Herbalife Same Questions Einhorn Raised [Deal Journal, earlier, also] $$$ Here’s Rex Ryan Wearing An “I’d Hit That” Shirt [Deadspin] $$$ How would you like to be a financial industry recruiter at The Bachrach Group in New York? [DBCC] $$$ Icahn accuses Forest of hiding poison pill agreements [Reuters] $$$ Ex-Carlyle Consultant Gets Probation For Insider Trading [Bloomberg] $$$ Job Churn Hits Insider Probe [WSJ] $$$ The first known use of "OMG" was in a 1917 letter to Winston Churchill [BuzzFeed]

$$$ The ECB's unlimited bond buying may be limited to already outstanding bonds [FTAV] $$$ Fed Officials Weigh In On Central Bank's Action [WSJ] $$$ Fannie Mae Pays Banks $1.5 Billion So It Can Fire Them [HuffPo] $$$ Terrorists may or may not have slowed down Bank of America's website [Reuters] $$$ Pimco’s QE3 Distaste Grows as Peso Bond Bet Fades: Mexico Credit [Bloomberg] $$$ Fake Bloomberg Headlines [Twitter] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for a manager for asset allocation and investments in New York [DBCC] $$$ Court allows Greenberg suit to proceed over AIG bailout [Reuters] $$$ Lehman Sues J.P. Morgan Over Derivatives Claims [WSJ] $$$ The new mortgage-backed security in a renter's world [Fortune] $$$ Alibaba Completes $7.6 Billion Repurchase of Yahoo Stake [Bloomberg] $$$ Is This Guy A Member Of Maroon 5? [BF]

$$$ Happy Birthday, Jamie Dimon [DealBook] $$$ There's a pope [DI] $$$ EU May Put Short-Term Bank Creditors in Firing Line for Losses [Bloomberg] $$$ End Looming for Paper Certificates [WSJ] $$$ Is Insider Selling A Concern? (No) [TBP] $$$ I Emailed the CEO of Bank of America to Fix My Credit Score (And He Did) [The Billfold] $$$ A high frequency trading fund is looking for a senior compliance officer in New York [DBCC] $$$ Former Pimco Executive Files, Then Withdraws, Suit Alleging Misconduct [DealBook] $$$ Lehman creditors can question 'London Whale' - judge [Reuters] $$$ New Dell suitors don't make much sense [Fortune] $$$ Goldman Sachs ventures west for annual meeting in Salt Lake City [Reuters] $$$ New York City to Ban Awls [The Awl]

Buffett bond sale; Citi brings stress test guru out of retirement; Hedge funds think Warby Parker worth $1 billion; "Man Invents Creepy Talking Girlfriend Pillow"; AND MORE.