Write-Offs: 11.3.15

UBS profits; MBA hiring on the rise; GS president Gary Cohn and Andrew Ross Sorkin are texting buddies; "Scrote-n-tote gives consumers X-rated fashion accessory"; and more.

Author:

Dealbreaker

$$$UBS Investment Bank Swings to Profit on Cuts, Fixed Income [Bloomberg]

$$$MBA Hiring is Finally Recovering From the Recession [Fortune]

$$$Europe's Biggest Banks Are Cutting 30,000 Jobs [Bloomberg]

$$$Gary Cohn says he texts with @andrewrsorkin at midnight when Sorkin is "trying to figure something out." [@gabrielsherman]

$$$The creator of Scrote-n-Tote, a company keen to produce lifelike scrotum backpacks, has launched a crowdfunding campaign to help fund mass production. [UPI]

$$$Goldman's Gary Cohn: Lloyd Blankfein 'in office every day' [NetNet]

$$$ Trading Volatility Doesn’t Faze Morgan Stanley’s Gorman [Dealbook]

$$$It's Manatee Awareness Month. Let's Celebrate. [HP]

Write-Offs

$$$ Eurozone demands six-day week for Greece [Guardian] $$$ Hedge funds perplexed by negative Bund yield conundrum [Reuters] $$$ Money market funds want to buy negative-yielding securities, pass the savings on to you [FT] $$$ Moody's: U.S Banking Outlook Negative Despite Stronger Banks [WSJ] $$$ Matt Taibbi says a lot of wrong things about private equity, which is surprising for some reason [Term Sheet] $$$ Jim Cramer's Mad Money is more popular at 3am [NYP] $$$ Sands Capital Management is looking for a senior associate in Virginia for public and private equity, focusing on life sciences [DBCC] $$$ Andrew Ross Sorkin doesn't think you appreciate that Facebook has lost $50 billion in market cap. Let him say that again for emphasis: fifty billion. Fifty billion! [DealBook] $$$ Barclays fired some people for manipulating Libor [Reuters] $$$ "IPhone Price Cuts Send Bond Inflation Bets To 11-Year Low" [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon's friends spend $410mm a year on wine [Reuters] $$$ Judge Orders Sex-Change Operation for Federal Prisoner [Law Blog] $$$ Fifty billion!

Write-Offs

$$$ Goldman Reviewing Conflicts Policies for M&A Bankers [WSJ] $$$ Sprint Terminates Network Deal With Falcone’s LightSquared [Bloomberg] $$$ Deutsche Bank board appointment blocked [FT] $$$ Maybe Peter Henning thinks inside information obtained in AA meetings gets a free pass under securities laws? [DealBook, earlier] $$$ Shining Shoes Best Way Wall Street Women Outearn Men [Bloomberg] $$$ A $2 billion relative value hedge fund is looking for a credit trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ That thing about Apple's Foxconn slave laborers was fake [Marketplace] $$$ Billionaire index arbitrage [Felix Salmon / Reuters] $$$ Andrew Ross Sorkin is the most influential financial journalist; Zero Hedge's Tyler Durden tied for tenth [Talking Biz News] $$$ "Many under-30 tech entrepreneurs see the paper rectangles as an anachronism, so they are turning to digital options. About 85 million people manage their professional networks with LinkedIn. Some 77 million smartphone users have downloaded the Bump app, which allows them to bump their phones together and instantly exchange contact information." Business cards are passé among 20something tech nerds. [Chicago Tribune] $$$ A (human) BusinessWeek writer did a taste test of gourmet dog food [BW] $$$ But what will happen with St. Kitts and Nevis CDS? [FTAV]

Write-Offs

Steak ’n Shake battles activist; Merkel to "intervene in Greek talks"; BNY to pay $700 million to make fraud stuff go away; Lawyer drops his pot in courtroom; and more.

Write-Offs

Write-Offs: 11.3.15

Write-Offs: 09.04.12

Write-Offs: 03.16.12

Write-Offs: 10.30.12

Write-Offs: 3.19.15

Write-Offs: 04.02.12

Write-Offs: 10.25.13

Write-Offs: 03.21.14

Write-Offs: 01.03.14