$$$ Eurozone demands six-day week for Greece [Guardian] $$$ Hedge funds perplexed by negative Bund yield conundrum [Reuters] $$$ Money market funds want to buy negative-yielding securities, pass the savings on to you [FT] $$$ Moody's: U.S Banking Outlook Negative Despite Stronger Banks [WSJ] $$$ Matt Taibbi says a lot of wrong things about private equity, which is surprising for some reason [Term Sheet] $$$ Jim Cramer's Mad Money is more popular at 3am [NYP] $$$ Sands Capital Management is looking for a senior associate in Virginia for public and private equity, focusing on life sciences [DBCC] $$$ Andrew Ross Sorkin doesn't think you appreciate that Facebook has lost $50 billion in market cap. Let him say that again for emphasis: fifty billion. Fifty billion! [DealBook] $$$ Barclays fired some people for manipulating Libor [Reuters] $$$ "IPhone Price Cuts Send Bond Inflation Bets To 11-Year Low" [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon's friends spend $410mm a year on wine [Reuters] $$$ Judge Orders Sex-Change Operation for Federal Prisoner [Law Blog] $$$ Fifty billion!

Goldman's Cohn defends bank's trading unit amid revenue slump; Meet the most powerful man in banking; Bible translated into emojis 'for millennials'; and more.

$$$ Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT] $$$ Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ] $$$ Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC] $$$ Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg] $$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha] $$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo] $$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC] $$$ Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters] $$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP] $$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]

$$$ Facebook Adds Citi, Credit Suisse, Deutsche Bank on IPO [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman CEO Blankfein deposed in insider case [Reuters] $$$ Greek Official Warns Debt Holdouts [DealBook] $$$ Yelp Stock Price Jumps 60 Percent In Its Debut [CNBC] $$$ Here is a fashion writer's detailed critique of Dominique Strauss-Kahn's lawyer's claim that it's hard to recognize a naked prostitute [Slate, earlier] $$$ You could be a Senior Director covering REITS for Fitch Ratings [DBCC] $$$ Iceland is considering adopting the Canadian dollar [Globe and Mail] $$$ U.S. seeks dismissal of Hank Greenberg's lawsuit on AIG takeover [Reuters] $$$ John Lanchester talks about why there's so little fiction about money [FT] $$$ And when making such comparisons between economics and physical science, there’s yet another point: what we call “microfoundations” are not like physical laws. Heck, they’re not even true. Maximizing consumers are just a metaphor, possibly useful in making sense of behavior, but possibly not. [Paul Krugman] $$$ Hoboken Steels for Wave of Drunken Revelers [Bloomberg] $$$ "You can all start creating a beautiful grey market now. Enjoy the weekend." [Overheard]

$$$ Eurozone deal over bank bailout in doubt [FT] $$$ U.K. Bankers Group to Stop Overseeing Libor [WSJ] $$$ The Smith Barney Name Still Lives (Sort of) [Deal Journal] $$$ Mason Capital may lose money on its delightful Telus trade [DealBook] $$$ Actually, business and political leaders aren't that stressed [LAT] $$$ “I’ve had to sit here all night staring at a whale,” [Jes] Staley said last night, a few hours into a gala for the NYU Langone Medical Center’s Hospital for Joint Diseases and Center for Musculoskeletal Care. He was accepting an award for corporate leadership. Staley then suggested the whale could be replaced with the squid in the room, which, he clarified afterward, meant Goldman Sachs Group Inc., represented by his friend Gary D. Cohn, chairman of the dinner and the hospital’s advisory board. Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi called Goldman a “vampire squid.” All this took place about 20 feet from a diorama depicting a battle between a sperm whale and a giant squid. Which creature will triumph is unclear, though squid have been found in whales’ stomachs. [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie's Credit Solutions Group, a distressed and special situations financing group, is looking for a 2nd or 3rd-year analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Or just be an event coordinator for Breaking Media [Fashionista] $$$ Uber Bear Sees S&P at 800...Just Not Yet [CNBC!] $$$ Eighth Grader Says He Vandalized Congressman’s Office [NYT] $$$ Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too [Gawker] $$$ Police launched investigation into the 'suspicious' moon [Telegraph]

$$$ Dow Average Snaps Rally as Consumer Confidence Declines [Bloomberg] $$$ Two Ackman investors want more details on JC Penney [Reuters] $$$ Why We Should Rip the Banks in Two [Bloomberg View / Matthew C. Klein] $$$ "There’s something almost silly in the fact that Buffett, one of the world’s richest men, earns a salary of $100,000 at Berkshire—and then cuts a check for $50,000 to reimburse Berkshire for 'minor items such as postage or phone calls that are personal.'" [Deal Journal] $$$ Happy Ides of March! Where Caesar Was Killed, Cute Kittens Now Roam [IBTimes] $$$ A top tier hedge fund is looking for a valuations and risk analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Goldman named Steven Barg the head of something called "mergers and acquisitions capital markets," where he will "work with clients 'on the equity market implications of strategic activities.'" [DealBook] $$$ AT&T Signals It May Sell Assets to Fund Dividends, Buybacks [WSJ] $$$ BuzzFeed to Launch Business Section [WSJ] $$$ Five Reasons Mila Kunis Shouldn’t Be Buying Stocks Now [MarketBeat]

$$$ Goldman Reviewing Conflicts Policies for M&A Bankers [WSJ] $$$ Sprint Terminates Network Deal With Falcone’s LightSquared [Bloomberg] $$$ Deutsche Bank board appointment blocked [FT] $$$ Maybe Peter Henning thinks inside information obtained in AA meetings gets a free pass under securities laws? [DealBook, earlier] $$$ Shining Shoes Best Way Wall Street Women Outearn Men [Bloomberg] $$$ A $2 billion relative value hedge fund is looking for a credit trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ That thing about Apple's Foxconn slave laborers was fake [Marketplace] $$$ Billionaire index arbitrage [Felix Salmon / Reuters] $$$ Andrew Ross Sorkin is the most influential financial journalist; Zero Hedge's Tyler Durden tied for tenth [Talking Biz News] $$$ "Many under-30 tech entrepreneurs see the paper rectangles as an anachronism, so they are turning to digital options. About 85 million people manage their professional networks with LinkedIn. Some 77 million smartphone users have downloaded the Bump app, which allows them to bump their phones together and instantly exchange contact information." Business cards are passé among 20something tech nerds. [Chicago Tribune] $$$ A (human) BusinessWeek writer did a taste test of gourmet dog food [BW] $$$ But what will happen with St. Kitts and Nevis CDS? [FTAV]