CEO of Burrito Joint That Recently Poisoned Hundreds Of People: "We're Gonna Be The Safest Place To Eat"

Chipotle CEO Steve Ells is sorry in advance for how freaking clean his restaurants are going to be.

Not at all worried about what comes next.

As some of you may have heard, Chipotle Mexican Grill (NYSE: CMG) has come under fire over the last several months for the small matter of infecting a mess of patrons with norovirus. Most recently, it took down over 100 students at its location near Boston College. Not so surprisingly, poisoning more than 3-figures worth of customers has not done wonders for the company's stock price, which has plummeted from an August high. One guy who's not at all worried about Chipotle's financial health? Founder and chief executive officer Steve Ells, who told NBC as much yesterday.

Asked whether the company could recover financially, Ells said “certainly.”

Another thing Ells isn't worried about? Clinching the title of "Cleanest Goddamn Restaurants On The Face Of The Earth" at industry award shows, despite having hospitalized many, many people since August.

“This was a very unfortunate incident and I’m deeply sorry that this happened, but the procedures we’re putting in place today are so above industry norms that we are going to be the safest place to eat,” Ells said in an interview on NBC’s “Today” program...He added that the new food safety procedures the company is putting in place would put it 10 to 15 years ahead of industry standards.

No, really, you're gonna want to eat off the floors. It's borderline illegal how clean they're gonna make these things.

Chipotle CEO: I’m sorry for everything [NYP]

Related: Caption Contest Friday: Henry Kravis Well Aware That If You Want Something Done Right, You’ve Got To Do It Yourself


D.E. Shaw Geniuses Build Their Greatest Model Yet

Do you worship at the Temple of Chipotle? Do you refuse to make use of the online order option that allows you to bypass the line, as one half of Team Dealbreaker does, but unlike said burrito lover, prefer not to show up before 12 so as to beat the rush? Would you die before patronizing some inferior establishment for lunch but would also like to know what kind of wait you're going to be dealing with before making the trip, or, alternatively, not really care how long you have to wait but just get off on predicting stuff to a 3-sigma confidence level? Some enterprising D.E. Shaw employees have got covered. FYI- D.E. Shaw employees have built a model that predicts the length of the line at the Chipotle down the street from the 1166 Ave of the Americas office. Not only that, they are really excited about how accurate it is. Obviously this needs to be shared and disseminated ASAP, for the greater good, unless it's being kept proprietary at this time for reasons that involve a little something called the DE Shaw Chipotle Line Length Fund I and investors who would pay 2 and 20, nay, 3 and 50 to get in on this little money-making machine. Related: Tools Of The Trade: How To Prove To DE Shaw You’re DE Shaw Material

Phil Falcone Maintains 'Absolute Lawfulness' Of Lending Himself A Hundred Mill From Investor Fund

Remember, back in 2009, when Phil Falcone realized he'd forgotten to set aside enough cash to cover his taxes and came up with the idea to loan himself the money from a gated investor fund? And investors got all bent out of shape about it and the SEC did too? If the former was looking for some sort of an apology and the latter was looking for some show of groveling (in an attempt to avoid paying a fine/have a judge rule he can't come within 200 feet of a public company sorry), sorry, 'cause Phil's not sorry.