Deutsche Bank's New Hire Is Tacit Admission That Deutsche Bank Is Less Tech-Savvy Than Fannie Mae

John Cryan just found a new IT guy.
Author:
Updated:
Original:

If you're sitting at your desk at Deutsche Bank (DB) today and bemoaning the über-sh!tty bonus situation, you might want to take a hard look back at the year that was and remember some of the rougher moments. Like that time one of your colleagues decided to type with his palms and mistakenly handed out $6 billion on a Forex trade.

Remember that? Because your CEO John Cryan does, and he's ready to make some changes.

Deutsche Bank is creating a new top management post to oversee the bank's technology, as part of new CEO John Cryan's battle to bring the struggling bank under control.

That's leadership! Seeing a problem, like Deutsche's woeful tech infrastructure and moving quickly to fix it by bringing in a real pro.

So now you're wondering, where did Cryan find this wizard? Goldman? One of those FinTech unicorns roaming Silicon Valley? Maybe Facebook?

Germany's biggest lender has hired Pascal Boillat, currently head of operations and technology for US mortgage company Fannie Mae.
Boillat will be chief information officer and head of operations for corporate and investment banking.

Oh... Cool?

Apparently John Cryan is pretty sick of watching Deutsche employees hammer away on decade-old Dell PCs when they're not trying to communicate via Blackberries held together by duct tape, so he's bringing in a guy from an embattled mortgage GSE to improve the tech situation at one of the world's largest financial institutions.

In Boillat's defense, anyone who succeeded at Fannie Mae is clearly well-versed in orchestrating cat rodeos, so he should be amply prepared to deal with whatever Cryan and Co. throw his way.

If nothing else, disgruntled Deustsche banker, this hire paves the way for a future moment in time in which you stare gleefully at a fat bonus check and think to yourself, "Thank heavens we brought in that guy from Fannie Mae to fix everything."

Deutsche Bank is trying to fix its technology problem with a new hire [BI]

Related

CryanBonusPool

Deutsche Bank Admits That Sometimes It Feels Like It's Still Living In The Hellscape Of 2015

John Cryan explains why Deutsche Bank missed huge again, and ponders the existence of joy.

santacryan

Markets So Relieved By French Election Results That Even Deutsche Bank Is Having A Good Day

Maybe John Cryan isn't the unluckiest Briton in Germany since the Cold War.

CryanBonusPool

Analyst Downgrades Deutsche Bank To "Basically Fucked"

Autonomous pretty certain that the fall of The House of Cryan is nigh.

CryanBonusPool

Bonus Watch '17: Deutsche Bank Bonus Pool More Like A Sad, Shallow Shower Puddle Of Bonuses

Deutsche Bank's mismanagement of this year's bonus season is like a new form of performance art.

Cryan.CalmDown

Deutsche Bank Now Suffering The Indignity Of Watching Senior People Risk Career Suicide By Defecting To Credit Suisse

It's starting to dawn on Deutsche Bank that senior executives are pretty keen on - like - getting bonuses or whatever.

JohnCryan.Gimp

Deutsche Bank Exec Appears To Be Totally Unaware That Deutsche Bank Is Headquartered In Germany

New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.