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Marissa Mayer's Golden Parachute Is Also Available In Platinum

Now if only she can find someone desperate enough to make an ill-advised statement acquisition... Oh.

We all know that Marissa Mayer has presided over an acquisition-heavy, results-challenged tire fire as CEO of Yahoo (YHOO). Her reign that has led the company into a gasping death spiral and Yahoo's stock price has become something of a purple albatross following Marissa's career ship as it slowly sinks.

But hey, a lady's gotta eat and - according to CNNMoney - Double M is going to be dining out for years to come.

If she is fired by the board, as some investors and analysts have advocated, she's entitled to a $25.8 million severance package, based on Yahoo's current stock price.

That's not too shabby, but before Marissa starts curating a tumblr about how much money Tumblr cost her, there is some potential good news for Silicon Valley's favorite shopaholic.

But she'll do even better if she loses her job because of the sale of the company. Then she'd get about $110 million, according to public disclosures by Yahoo.

Aha! So if Marissa Mayer can unload the rusty husk of Yahoo's core business, she could be looking at the nine-digit "go away" figure that a tech visionary deserves?

Now she just needs someone eager enough to make a huge purchase so as to make it look like there is a grand plan in place even though there might not be one at all and all the acquisitions are just being made in a desperate attempt to look relevant...

Holy M.C. Escher! For Marissa Mayer to get her nine-figure parachute, Marissa Mayer needs to sell Yahoo to Marissa Mayer!

Marissa Mayer's severance package could reach $110 million [CNNMoney]



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