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Minority Shareholder Spends 99-Pages Telling Yahoo Why Marissa Mayer Is Literally THE Worst

Another "great" day for DoubleM!

If we've said it once, we've said it too many times, Marissa Mayer is not having a great time running things over at Yahoo (YHOO).

With the company openly shopping around its core search and ad business after deciding not to spin off its massively valuable shares in Alibaba, the rumor mill is swirling that Marissa will be fired before any kind of sale goes through.

Today, with Mayer on maternity leave caring for her newborn twins, a presentation has surfaced detailing why she - and 9,000 of her closest employees - should be fired immediately (Happy Holidays!) in order to preserve what's left of Yahoo's value. The document was authored by Eric Jackson, a hedge fund manager at SpringOwl Asset Management which owns a tiny slice of Yahoo stock. Jackson uses 99 PowerPoint slides to lay out his case that while everyone has bought into the narrative of Yahoo being a smoldering ruin, it is actually undervalued after being run into the ground by Mayer.

Here are some of his thoughts:

"Re-cast" you say?

But what did Double M do?

Ok, strong point.

What else?

Johnson also floats the idea of selling Yahoo's headquarters and moving whoever survives the purge into a small office. It's quite a read, if only for beautiful trolling images like this:

Take a gander below:



Marissa Mayer's Golden Parachute Is Also Available In Platinum

Now if only she can find someone desperate enough to make an ill-advised statement acquisition... Oh.

Screen Shot 2016-07-06 at 10.52.09 AM

Marissa Mayer Is The Only Person Who Thinks Marissa Mayer Is Staying On At Yahoo

She could stay on post-merger, but the Gods of Logic would weep.

Yahoo To Contemplate The $55M Value Proposition Of Firing Marissa Mayer

How much do you want to fire a problem like Marissa?

Marissa Mayer Is Not Swinging Into Spring

It's still winter in the valley of Yahoo.

Marissa Mayer Has A Cool New Office Nickname

Don't cry for Marissa, Yahoo-tina. The truth is she'll never leave you.