How To Win At Negative Interest Rates

Scandinavians don't get why y'all are so hung up on J-Yells.
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Surprisingly comfortable and ergonomic.

1. Be Danish, Swedish or Swiss.

2. Buy an apartment with a negative-interest rate mortgage. Get paid to have a mortgage! (Full disclosure: Apartments may be more expensive because banks are paying you to take out a mortgage, and this all might be creating a massive real-estate bubble that’s going to bite you in the ass big-time. But, you know: Free money!)

3. Withdraw all of your money from negative-rate bank accounts. Place under mattress in new apartment alongside the money you’re paid to have a mortgage.

4. Cackle evilly.

Danish companies pay taxes early to rid themselves of cash. At one small Swiss bank, customer deposits will shrink by an eighth of a percent a year.

But it isn’t all bad. Some Danes with floating-rate mortgages are discovering that their banks are paying them every month to borrow, instead of charging interest on their home loans….

“Hopefully, it’s a temporary phenomenon,” said Soren Holm, chief financial officer at Nykredit, Denmark’s biggest mortgage lender by volume. Mr. Holm said the administration of negative rates has gone smoothly, but he isn’t trumpeting the fact that some borrowers get paid. “We wouldn’t use it as a marketing tool,” he said.

Less Than Zero: Living With Negative Interest Rates [WSJ]

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