Inside Traders Look to U.S. Supreme Court for Redemption; Deutsche cutting 1/2 of Brazil team; Fed holds line; Customs says man smuggled live birds in fanny pack, groin of pants; and more.

Feds signal June increase is on the table; Wells Fargo cuts Valeant; Woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids, Police Say; and more.

$$$ Bank Earnings: J.P. Morgan and Wells Fargo Preview [Deal Journal] $$$ JPMorgan Analysts Say Big Investment Banks Are ‘Uninvestable’ [Bloomberg] $$$ The state of investment banking today: Morgan Stanley’s definitive guide [eFC] $$$ To trade or not to trade, when the Fed sends you inside info [Reuters] $$$ How Do You Run Goldman Sachs Out of Town? [DI] $$$ The Winklevii have a lot of bitcoins [DealBook] $$$ Top Bankers Agree with Obama: Recovery Coming [FBN] $$$ Lisbon struggles to avoid second bailout [FT] $$$ Singer Denial Failing to Quell Win-Win Charge: Argentina Credit [Bloomberg] $$$ A New Look at the Role of Sovereign Credit Default Swaps [IMF] $$$ UBS cap intro chief Rob Sachs jumps to Bank of America [HFI] $$$ Man Tries to Saw Off His Arms at California Home Depot [ABC]

Recession 2016; Lacker not worried about China in US; Busted Michigan "Sex Toy Bandits" Make Crowdfunding Pitch For Wedding Funds; and more.

Goldman's $5.1 billion settlement; Fed probably staying steady this month; "Fox News Host Worried About Commies On Sesame Street"; and more.

$$$ Italy Vote Shows No Clear Winner, as Berlusconi Rises [WSJ] $$$ Goldman to begin fresh round of job cuts [Reuters] $$$ Remember That $83 Billion Bank Subsidy? We Weren't Kidding [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ "There appears to be a growing trendin dying industries: The bosses want to hold their bedside vigils in private." [Deal Journal] $$$ Banks to sell complex CDS books [IFR] $$$ "As an excellent student with advanced people skills and an exciting resume, with a desire to be part of a challenging, energetic, and reputable organization, I will be a valuable addition to The Catholic Church as your new Pope." [McSweeney's] $$$ A top-tier investment management firm is looking for a VP, behavioral finance specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Wells Fargo Role in Heinz Deal Is Credit Negative, Moody’s Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Leveraged loan market on fire [Sober Look] $$$ Banks Face Key Hurdle in Libor Fight [WSJ] $$$ RBS plans IPO for U.S. arm Citizens in next two years [Reuters] $$$ John Kerry Brings Democracy to Kyrzakhstan [DI]

$$$ Banks’ M&A earnings drop to Lehman low [FT] $$$ Spain's crisis budget aims at spending cuts not tax rises [Reuters] $$$ There isn't really a Spanish deposit flight [FTAV] $$$ SEC Charges Investment Bank Analyst with Illegally Tipping College Friend About Nonpublic Merger Deals [SEC] $$$ Lawyer for Ex-Goldman Programmer Criticizes Prosecutors and Firm [DealBook] $$$ "Hedge Fund Pivot Joins BTG to Defy Bacon’s Investment Desert" is a real Bloomberg headline [Bloomberg] $$$ Canada cheese-smuggling ring busted [BBC] $$$ TCW is looking for a credit analyst in LA [DBCC] $$$ RIM's Earnings Beat Expectations; Shares Up 16% [WSJ] $$$ Geithner Urges an Overhaul of Rules on Money Market Funds [DealBook] $$$ SEC’s Gallagher Calls for Floating Price for Money Market Funds [Bloomberg] $$$ Mortgage rates are at all-time lows [CR] $$$ Houses on "Places" cost more than houses on "Streets" [Atlantic Cities] $$$ This happened [Twitter]

$$$ Slow U.S. Hiring May Spur Fed [WSJ] $$$ Germany faces ECB backlash [FT] $$$ Dealer inventories of corporate bonds are at a ten-year low [FTAV] $$$ New York AG Eric Schneiderman's investigation into whether private equity firms illegally converted ordinary income into capital gains is complicated by the fact that ordinary income and capital gains are taxed at the same rate in New York [Reuters] $$$ "From 1971 to the present, money market funds without defaulted securities would have a shadow NAV below 0.995 15.4% of the time" due to interest rate movements [Aleph Blog] $$$ Wells Fargo broke into a house, took all the owners' stuff, destroyed it, found out that it was the wrong house [CBS] $$$ Peregrine Financial is missing its SpongeBob SquarePants silver coins [NYO] $$$ Citi is looking for an audit manager - mortgages in New York [DBCC] $$$ "Xstrata is indicating it thinks that retaining its management in the top positions may be worth more than that $4.5 billion. Now that is a valuable management." [WSJ / Dealpolitik] $$$ ICP Asset Management paid $23 million to settle its SEC suit over mismanaging its CDOs [SEC] $$$ Jim O'Neill hits out at 'weird world of benchmarking [Citywire] $$$ Rajaratnam's insider-trading appeal set for Oct. 25 [Reuters] $$$ World's Best Internship—Interviewing Porn Stars [CNBC] $$$ Restaurant Owner Creates Fake Sex Site Profile for Patron Who Posted Negative Review Online [Gawker]