David Einhorn predicts great things for Greenlight; Paul Singer goes hunting; Fantasy sports > Wall Street; "Ex-Met Lenny Dykstra says he spent $500,000 on private investigators to blackmail umpires for smaller strike zone"; and more.

Why European Banks Keep Getting Clobbered; Jessica Alba's ecommerce firm working on IPO; Pharma-Bro Martin Shkreli Is Still on OKCupid, Now With a Snarkier Profile; and more.

$$$ Bonus cuts hide bigger problem for investment banks [FT] $$$ Newsletter Flagged Possible 'Japanese Madoff' in 2009 [WSJ] $$$ Gray in position to succeed Schwarzman [FT] $$$ Apple would like to break the law of large numbers, for very loose definitions of "the law of large numbers" (or very strong forms of EMH?) [NYT] $$$ BREAKING: Jim Chanos eats bread [BI] $$$ Lenny Dykstra can go to Gary Carter's funeral [NYP]

$$$ 'Sterilized' Bond Buying an Option in Fed Arsenal [WSJ] $$$ Greece inches closer to €206bn debt deal [FT] $$$ Apple lifts lid on 4G iPad, keeps prices [Reuters] $$$ Mario Batali pays $5.25mm to settle a class action suit brought by abused waiters [Eater] $$$ How would you like to be a research analyst on the global small- and mid-cap team at Franklin Templeton? [DBCC] $$$ Treasury to Sell $6 Billion of AIG Stock [WSJ] $$$ The Case for Treating Big Finance Like Big Pharma [The Atlantic] $$$ Or treat it like squeegee men [William Black] $$$ If you read only one piece of investigative journalism on Lenny Dykstra's downfall, make it this one [SI] $$$ If you read only one piece of investigative journalism on high-end prostitute pricing, make it John Carney's [NetNet]

Theranos director says investors still believe in CEO; Martin Shkreli dropped from lawsuit tied to Wu-Tang album; French statue gets detachable penis to thwart thieves; and more.

Steve Cohen; Aramco IPO; Worst week ever; RZA on Shkreli; and more.

Rate rise risks; Silicon Valley cash drying up; "Now What Happens to Shkreli's Wu-Tang Record?"; and more.

$$$ Something something something "[Bernanke] must once again address whether there is more the Fed can do to get the economy going and whether it is worth taking chances on controversial new programs" [WSJ] $$$ Brussels pushes for wide ECB powers [FT] $$$ Google, Apple CEOs in secret patent talks [Reuters] $$$ Goldman is struggling to sell an ABS deal backed by Bob Dylan royalties, inspiring many FT jokes [FT] $$$ Chipotle caught STEALING pennies from hapless customers nationwide in deceptive receipt rounding scandal [Daily Mail] $$$ Kelly & Dylan finally get together [NYP] $$$ A bulge bracket bank in New York is looking for a senior internal audit manager [DBCC] $$$ Guy voting Republican [CNBC] $$$ Sharp Elbows Among Street Lawmen [WSJ] $$$ Citi is looking for a little more space [WSJ] $$$ "A 97-year-old message in a bottle found by Scottish fishermen in their catch has set the world record for spending the longest time at sea." [Bloomberg] $$$ Over 100 students in Harvard's "Intro to Congress" class are being investigated for cheating [Crimson]