Recession fears are running rampant on Wall Street; Pay cuts, layoffs loom; Key West police rescue woman from giant banyan tree; and more.

$$$ Arrests Near Stock Exchange Top 100 on Occupy Wall St. Anniversary [NYT] $$$ Pandit’s Censured Bonus Unhurt by Smith Barney Writedown [Bloomberg] $$$ America’s Fourth-Richest Woman Unveiled With Koch Stake [Bloomberg] $$$ The incidence of the corporate tax is progressive [WonkBlog] $$$ Apple sells 2 million new phones, sets early order record [Reuters] $$$ B-School Applicants Decline for Four Years [WSJ] $$$ "One sophomore, granted anonymity by The Crimson because she was afraid to be associated with a party that had been interrupted by police ... [said] 'Everyone at Harvard is very career-minded. No one likes the cops.'" [Crimson] $$$ A mid-sized global investment bank is looking for a senior quant developer for its FICC trading desk in New York [DBCC] $$$ "One could easily conclude that [corporate bond] ETFs are ending up with the inventory that dealers can’t manage themselves. Which makes perfect sense if you consider that ETFs are a great place for dealers to park inventory on a funded and risk-recycled basis." [FTAV] $$$ Euro crisis tests limits of "French exception" [Reuters] $$$ Schulze still trying to line up Best Buy bid funding [NYP] $$$ A federal court ruled that a fraternity is not a monastery for zoning purposes [VC] $$$ "A Wal-Mart cashier and manager tore up two $100 bills and held a customer for hours until police came and told the store the cash was legitimate, the furious customer claims in court." [CNS]

$$$ Cohn Says Banks Other Than Goldman, JPMorgan Retrenching [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Goldman trader Taylor pleads guilty to wire fraud [Reuters] $$$ Bundesbank launches Deutsche probe [FT] $$$ Bank of Canada searches far and wide for Carney's successor [Reuters] $$$ Huey Lewis and Weird Al Reenact Classic American Psycho Scene in Honor of Sports’ 30th Birthday [Gawker] $$$ Government Watchdog Faults Regulators Over Foreclosure Review [DealBook] $$$ Royal Bank of Scotland faces $6 billion investor action [Reuters] $$$ Money Is Memory [Izabella Kaminska] $$$ A man caught beating down a 56-year-old woman during a subway robbery in Borough Park wore a college fraternity sweatshirt with his nickname on it, law enforcement sources said. Aidan Folan, 21, was caught on camera wearing his favorite Alpha Phi Delta hoodie with custom lettering on the back that reads, "Stugotz 27," sources added. The Italian slang term roughly translates to "testicles" and is so loved by the suspect he chose it and the number "27" for his Facebook page, sources added. [NYP] $$$ Justin Bieber’s Pet Monkey Quarantined in Germany [Time]

$$$ Argentina to Seize Control of Oil Firm [WSJ] $$$ World Bank picks Kim as next head [FT] $$$ Coty Tries to Rally Support for Avon Bid Amid Skepticism [DealBook] $$$ Brazil Cannibal Empanadas: Brazilian Women Murdered, Eaten And Made Into Human Pastries [HuffPo, congrats on the Pulitzer] $$$ PIMCO is looking to fill tax manager positions - in regulated and private funds - in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ New York Jets All-Pro D'Brickashaw Ferguson, will be on Wall Street (Exchange Place and Broad Street) at 3:45pm tomorrow as part of The Decathlon 2012. Ferguson will be demonstrating how The Decathlon uses performance-based donating ('charitybets') to raise money to support Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. He'll be charitybetting on any Wall Streeter to come out and participate in a Vertical Jump contest. Ferguson will have a Vertec (devise used at the NFL Combine to test vertical leaping) and a few thousand dollars - CASH - to donate to MSKCC. Jump 24-inches, Ferguson donates $100. Jump $26-inches, Ferguson donates $200. And so on and so forth. Registration for The Decathlon 2012 opens Tuesday, April 17th. The event is on Sunday, July 29th at Columbia University's Wien Stadium. $$$ For Two Economists, the Buffett Rule Is Just a Start [NYT] $$$ Following Other People's Stock Picks Just Got Easier but why? [Bloomberg] $$$ What is Carney talking about? [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ ECB staff demand inflation protection [Money Supply] $$$ Rock Out With Your Cock Out: Penis Warmers Are Now a Thing [Fashionista] $$$ Breasts lead to arrest of Anonymous hacker [CNET]

$$$ Man Accused of Plot to Blow Up Federal Reserve Bank of New York [NYT] $$$ Europe banking supervisor plan ‘illegal’ [FT] $$$ Prosecutors Seek as Much as Decade in Prison for Gupta [WSJ] $$$ Dealpolitik: What Sprint’s Unusual Deal Structure Means for Competing Bidders [Deal Journal] $$$ ThinkEquity is no more [MarketBeat] $$$ Trying To Do A Cannonball Into A Frozen Swimming Pool Is Not A Good Idea [Deadspin] $$$ A large regional investment bank is looking for two energy company analysts in New York, Houston or Denver [DBCC] $$$ With Flat Profits, Greenhill Misses Earnings Estimates [DealBook] $$$ Och-Ziff hedge fund looks to exit landlord business [Reuters] $$$ What’s An Index Worth? [IndexUniverse] $$$ "The other day, a friend of mine asked me whether CEOs were born or made. I said, 'That’s kind of like asking if Jolly Ranchers are grown or made. CEO is a very unnatural job.'" [Ben Horowitz] $$$ Customers Refuse to Press Charges Against Couple Having Sex on Restaurant Table Because, Hey, Dinner and a Show [Gawker]

Forex Tumult good for banks; "How 300 Emails Led to a Summer Job on Wall Street"; Snow Kone Joe vs. Mr. Ding-A-Ling Ice Cream Truck; and more.

"A Colleague Drank My Breast Milk and Other Wall Street Tales"; Carson Block launches hedge fund; Dov Charney has a plan; New Yorker Posts Brooklyn Igloo on Airbnb During Blizzard, Only $200 a Night; and more.

$$$ J.C. Penney Ousts Ron Johnson, Rehires Myron Ullman [WSJ] $$$ Capital markets: Is Citi the new golden child of Wall Street? [Euromoney] $$$ White Confirmed as SEC Chairman [WSJ] $$$ A.I.G. Seeks to Bar Greenberg From Suing U.S. on Its Behalf [DealBook] $$$ David Stockman's dystopia [Fortune] $$$ Wrestling’s Private Equity Champion [DealBook] $$$ Google Glass Already Being Banned from Strip Clubs [BetaBeat] $$$ The Fine Line Between Political Intelligence and Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Hedge Funds Wagering on Fannie Reincarnation [Bloomberg] $$$ As Deadline Looms, Few Companies Sign Up to Trade Swaps [WSJ] $$$ Costs of derivatives clearing stack up for buy-side [Reuters] $$$ Volcker: Central banks are too aggressive [CNN] $$$ Market Crash Likelihood Goes Up If Stocks Continue to Rally: Marc Faber [CNBC] $$$ Science proves women like men with bigger penises [NBC]