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Deutsche Bank CEO Openly Fantasizes About What It Might Be Like To Run A Bank Not Losing Money Hand Over Fist

Deutsche staffers aren't the only ones who just want to say "F*ck this hell hole." But we can't always get what we want, can we?
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Deutsche Bank on Thursday reported a $7.4 billion loss for 2015 and announced that management's bonuses would be cancelled. The release was followed by a nearly three-hour phone call with CEO John Cryan, in which he sounded pretty glum. "The bank I would like to run at the moment is Wells Fargo," Cryan said at one point on the call, according to the FT's Laura Noonan. "I would love to make 400 basis points in retail banking and have a relatively easy life. Unfortunately there are lots of things I wish for that are not going to come true." [BI, earlier]



Analyst Downgrades Deutsche Bank To "Basically Fucked"

Autonomous pretty certain that the fall of The House of Cryan is nigh.