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Having Conquered Finance And Pharma, Martin Shkreli Is Basically A Constitutional Law Expert Now

A dangerous mind, indeed.

Not the Casanova you were expecting.

Hedge fund manager turned pharma bro Martin Shkreli has turned again, into a constitutional law scholar.

Why? Because Martin Shkreli is a genius... and necessity is the mother of (re)invention.

Remember how Congress was hoping to chat with Martin about that one time he gouged the price of a life-saving drug by 5,000%? Well, Congress doesn't use PaperlessPost to invite people over, it uses subpoenas.

Martin is currently, like, "between lawyers" so Marint did what Martin Shkreli always does and became an overnight expert on something that most people take decades to master.

Stand back, because Martin Shkreli, Esq. is proving his new genius through his preferred medium; Twitter.

Watch and learn, David Boies.

This might look at first blush like a petulant piece of social media bluster meant to troll ranking members of House Subcommittees, but it's actually a proven piece of con-law gamesmanship. John Quincy Adams used to do this kind of sh!t all the time, you guys. But the thing about Twitter is that people can interact with you. Like Bloomberg reporter Max Nisen, who posed this thorny legal question to master jurist Shkreli and prompted this exchange:

Turns out that Nisen didn't have a copy of the subpoena, because he is a journalist and not the focus of a Congressional hearing, and therefore fell right into Martin's dastardly perfect rhetorical trap. Like any great lawyer, Martin Shkreli knew full well the answer to his own question, because he knew who had a copy of the subpoena the whole time... Spolier Alert: It was Martin Shkreli!

Oh, you rascal!

And like the reincarnation of F. Lee Bailey that he is, Martin coyly hinted that he would hide behind this little-known piece of the Constitution called the "Fifth Amendment."

How you like the taste of that, Congress?

You think Martin Shkreli is out of order? Well this whole CONGRESS IS OUT OF ORDER!!!

Sorry Congress, if you failed to comprehend that Martin Shkreli was a financial wunderkind and built a rickety Ponzi scheme thriving hedge fund in his 20s before creating a likely second fraud Pharma empire in his 30s, then you have only yourself to blame now that he's making you all look so foolish.

Martin knows that he's under indictment on federal fraud charges, so why would he agree to say anything to you and make things worse for himself? Martin Shkreli knows his rights!

Put it away Martin, no one wants to play anymore.


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Maybe M-Shkrels should make "Pleading The Fifth" into a lifestyle.


Martin Shkreli's Really Gotta Catch 'Em All

The Shkrelmaster has a cute new hobby.

Bored Feds Now Contemplating Charging Martin Shkreli With All The Crimes

Looks like Martin is going to need to find a dope rhyme for "Securities fraud."

It Turns Out That The Feds Have Been Onto Martin Shkreli For Years

Martin is a victim of what he did last year, and he has been for years...

Martin Shkreli Can't Stop Getting Charged By The Feds

That brings Martin's grand total to far.

[UPDATED] Martin Shkreli Is Ready To Admit That He Should've Perhaps Bailed Out Earlier On His Hilarious "Pharma Bro" Comedy Bit

Martin's not an inhuman criminal greed machine with an awful personality...He's just doing a "funny" bit.