Skip to main content

Cash Out Of Amateur Hour Capital Partners ASAP: Steve Cohen Will Be Ready For You Come 2018

Mark your calendars.
  • Author:
  • Updated:

So you know how Steve Cohen, he of the Point72 Asset Management née SAC Cohens, currently goes to his office in Stamford, CT and manages only his and his employees' money? And not outside investor money, which he was forced to return some time ago? The Securities and Exchange Commission has announced that he must keep doing that, for the next 730-odd days.

The Securities and Exchange Commission on Friday said it's barred Steven A. Cohen from supervising funds that manage outside money until 2018, over allegations he failed to supervise a former portfolio manager [named Mathew Martoma] who engaged in insider trading while employed at his firm.

But after that? He's back, baby!

...[the settlement] doesn't force him to pay any penalties, and opens the door for him to resume managing outside money—a remarkable turnaround for a Wall Street titan whose fund had pleaded guilty to insider trading charges.

Bust out your vintage SAC fleeces, call Guy Fieri, hell, call Martoma and tell him it's all water under the bridge1: the Big Guy's comin' home.

SEC bars Steven A. Cohen from supervising any fund with outside money [MarketWatch]
SEC Bars Steven Cohen From Supervising Hedge Funds For Two Years [WSJ]

1.Kidding, tell him the only thing standing between him and being 6 feet under is a marathon of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives episodes that include never before seen footage.


Steve Cohen Acts Like He Hasn't Already Booked Marching Bands, Floats, Taylor Swift For January 1, 2018

...not to mention, the permits for a victory lap through downtown Stamford.