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Write-Offs: 3.16.16

Pershing Square down 26.4% YTD; JPM and Citi shareholders will vote on breaking up banks; Florida woman fights to keep potty-trained pet alligator; and more.

Write-Offs: 1.12.16

Recession 2016; Lacker not worried about China in US; Busted Michigan "Sex Toy Bandits" Make Crowdfunding Pitch For Wedding Funds; and more.

Write-Offs: 08.24.12

$$$ Jury reaches verdict in Apple-Samsung trial [Reuters] $$$ Greece not written off, says Merkel [FT] $$$ RBS closing in on LIBOR settlement [Reuters] $$$ HSBC In Settlement Talks With U.S. Over Money Laundering [Bloomberg] $$$ John Hempton looks at Focus Media [Bronte Capital] $$$ Hey Look, It’s the DMX-”Reading Rainbow” Mashup You Never Knew You Wanted [Popdust] $$$ Highland Capital is looking for a credit trader in Dallas, if that's your thing [DBCC] $$$ Bernanke Letter Defends Fed Actions [WSJ] $$$ The Effectiveness of Unconventional Monetary Policy at the Zero Lower Bound: A Cross-Country Analysis [BIS] $$$ The commodity-basket standard is even dumber than the gold standard [Slate / Matt Yglesias] $$$ "You can’t fight inflation by taxing the wealthy. And since fighting inflation is the primary reason our government would need to raise taxes, the proposals to raise taxes on the wealthy just don’t add up" says MMT true believer John Carney [NetNet] $$$ Olympian Nick Symmonds may have finished a mere fifth in the 800M during the 2012 London Olympics, yet he has redeemed himself completely by downing a beer before running each of the four laps required to complete a mile in record time. ... Symmonds finished his mile (and chugging of 4 beers) in a very impressive 5 minutes and 19 seconds. The mark was good enough for first in US, but only fifth place all-time. “That’s a good first mark,” says Symmonds. “I’ve got some training to do.” [Cosby Sweaters] $$$ Count von Count died [The Awl]

Write-Offs: 11.17.15

Possible criminal probes for RBS, JPM executives; Regulators probe start-up valuations; Virginia man accused of 'assault' with a sandwich; and more.

Write-Offs: 1.6.16

Loeb losses; Chipotle subpoena; JPM beats Madoff; "Utah resident defends his dating website for only white people"; and more.

Write-Offs: 12.10.15

Economists convinced on rate hike; Warren Buffett of China is missing; "Naked man who carjacked a Federal Express delivery truck--but then fled the vehicle when he could not figure out how to drive it--has been arrested"; and more.

Write-Offs: 2.24.15

Regulators to put HSBC out of its misery; "Morgan Stanley's Hunger Games-inspired video they don't want you to see"; JPM will not breakup; Crab snatched by octopus in dry land sneak attack; AND MORE.

Write-Offs: 3.30.15

Bernanke is bloggin'; Lawmakers have their eye on SEC; "An Automatic Jell-O Shot Machine Is Coming To A Bar Near You"; and more.