Write-Offs: 1.15.16

Goldman's $5.1 billion settlement; Fed probably staying steady this month; "Fox News Host Worried About Commies On Sesame Street"; and more.
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Write-Offs: 12.1.15

Goldman says don't worry about a recession; Wells Fargo is pissed at the Fed; "Canadian Man Faces Jail Time for Smuggling Turtles in His Pants"; and more.

Write-Offs: 05.31.12

$$$ Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT] $$$ Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ] $$$ Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC] $$$ Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg] $$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha] $$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo] $$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC] $$$ Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters] $$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP] $$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]

Write-Offs: 08.13.12

$$$ Julius Baer to buy Merrill Lynch arm [FT] $$$ Groupon Shares Fall 14% on Slower Growth [WSJ] $$$ "Finally, and contrary to popular belief, [shadow] banking increases transparency and disclosure because banks now sell assets that would otherwise be hosted on their opaque balance sheets." [St. Louis Fed] $$$ Skepticism about proposed Libor fixes [Sober Look] $$$ Meet Chick-Felays, the Tiny Canadian Restaurant That Wants You to Know It Has No Opinion on Marriage Equality [Grub Street] $$$ Aboard his campaign plane Friday evening, Romney told reporters: “Bus tour, it’s great! It’s great to be out campaigning. . . . Campaigning is the most fun, is the most enjoyable and rewarding.” Romney then clapped his hands and returned to his seat at the front of the plane. “Back to my yogurt,” he said. [WaPo via Unfogged] $$$ T. Rowe Price is looking for an assistant corporate secretary, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Earnings report articles are kinda pointless [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ The Wall Street Journal is pretty pleased with its Olympic forecasting [WSJ] $$$ ‘Fierce Five’ Gymnasts Face Hurdle In Landing Nickname Trademark [Bloomberg] $$$ "What does it mean that, say, David Koch could double each half of the GOP ticket’s net worth by giving Romney one-hundredth of his fortune, or giving Ryan one five-thousandth of his fortune?" [Concurring Opinions] $$$ HuffPost Live Presents John Cusack’s Rambling Thoughts On The Mortgage Crisis [NYO]

Write-Offs: 07.13.12

$$$ U.S. investigates whether JPMorgan traders hid losses [Reuters] $$$ Was JPMorgan's restatement actually an elaborate plot to get Ina Drew's comp clawed back? No? [Felix Salmon] $$$ Fed May Need To Begin New Asset Purchases, Lockhart Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Mets star Dykstra pleads guilty in bankruptcy fraud case [NYP] $$$ "You have to sit there in silence, and you just get up every day and beat your head against the wall," but for that (and ratting out Countrywide) they'll pay you $14.5 million [Reuters] $$$ Q&A: The Gourmand Behind New York's $666 'Douche Burger' [BW] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a VP-level Group Finance COO business manager [DBCC] $$$ Spanish Bank Borrowing from ECB Surges [WSJ] $$$ Italy sells debt despite downgrade [FT] $$$ Visa, MasterCard in $6 Billion Settlement Over Surcharges [WSJ] $$$ Wealthy Homeowners Brace for 'Mansion Cliff' [CNBC!] $$$ Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network Is Being Dropped Because Your Provider Is Being a Giant Douche [McSweeney's]

Write-Offs: 11.6.15

NY Fed chief wants improved Wall Street culture; Brevan Howard cuts 50; Banks see rate rise in December; "World's fastest lawnmower reaches 133 mph in Norway"; and more.

Write-Offs: 05.08.12

$$$ Greek left attacks ‘barbarous’ austerity [FT] $$$ Facebook Facebook Facebook Facebook [WSJ/FT/CNBC/Reuters] $$$ Freddie Mac Chooses CEO [WSJ] $$$ After McClendon's trades, Chesapeake board gave blessing [Reuters] $$$ Tim Sykes is still doing things [BetaBeat, earlier] $$$ "A bank robbery, in our imagination, provides the robber with a one-off high-risk opportunity to become incredibly wealthy, in comparatively guilt-free fashion: No one but the corporation loses any money, so, what the fuck? That used to be the case, but due to inflation — as well as a host of other factors — it no longer is." [The Billfold] $$$ CIBC Global Asset Management is looking for a high yield VP in Toronto [DBCC] $$$ House Republicans are complaining that the Fed is helping the economy too much, causing House Republicans not to want to help the economy [Real Time Economics] $$$ Could a Stock ETF Cloak Its Portfolio? [WSJ] $$$ Green Mountain Chairman Replaced After Stock Sales [WSJ] $$$ Nomura is growing headcount [Bloomberg] $$$ “It lived alongside our ancestors, and it probably ate them,” said Christopher Brochu, an associate professor of geoscience at the University of Iowa and a study author. “We don’t actually have fossil human remains with croc bites, but the crocs were bigger than today’s crocodiles, and we were smaller, so there probably wasn’t much biting involved.” [Bloomberg]

Write-Offs: 03.08.13

$$$ Author of the spectacularly wrong ‘Dow 36,000′ has new thoughts on the stock market [Wonkblog] $$$ Fitch Downgrades Italy's Credit Ratings [WSJ] $$$ SEC: Goldman cannot ignore proposal to split chairman, CEO roles [Reuters] $$$ Talk of US high-yield 'bubble' is overdone [Reuters] $$$ "Even as some venture-capital firms have become skittish after the disappointing initial public offerings of Facebook, Groupon Inc. and Zynga Inc. - all of which were venture-backed — a number of hedge funds, private-equity firms and other asset-management firms are pouring money into closely held startups." [WSJ] $$$ George W. Bush’s Art Teacher Says He’s Painted 50 Dogs [Gawker] $$$ A boutique multi-strategy hedge fund in San Francisco is looking for a C++ programmer to help build an HFT platform [DBCC] $$$ AIG to Redeem $1.1 Billion of Debt in Path to Dividend [Bloomberg] $$$ "The Fed said the median loss from commercial and industrial loans across the 18 banks tested would be 6.5 percent under the severely adverse scenario. But Goldman's loss would be a stunning 49.6 percent." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Identifying Term Interbank Loans from Fedwire Payments Data [FRBNY] $$$ S&P Ratings Debate Doesn’t Show Fraud, Peterson Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Q. Do you ever throw your weight around during Internet arguments? Like, "I knew you were going to compare me to Hitler because I AM MIKE GODWIN." A. I never do that. [DI]

Write-Offs: 12.11.12

$$$ Boehner, Obama Exchange New Cliff Proposals [WSJ] $$$ Greece's lenders left to plug 450 mln euro hole after buyback [Reuters] $$$ Dragon Systems Founders Take Goldman to Trial Over Advice [Bloomberg] $$$ For employees of Bloomberg LP, a megabonus deferred [CapitalNY] $$$ Cayman Island Police Arrest Premier Over Credit Card Use [Bloomberg] $$$ An institutional equity research, sales and trading firm is looking to hire a senior biotech equity research analyst in Greenwich [DBCC] $$$ "Traders wanting to place bets on the U.S. Consumer Demand Index — a monthly reading of household spending sentiment — can now pay to get the data before anyone else." [MarketBeat] $$$ Not All Companies Would Welcome a Lower Tax Rate [DealBook] $$$ Argentina debt case weakens incentives to settle [Reuters] $$$ There's a dinosaur named after President Obama v [Fox]