$$$ Gawker acquires semi-public audited financials of Bain Capital funds, orgasms all over them [Gawker, related] $$$ Bain Capital's conversion of management fees into carry may have been tax aggressive [Victor Fleischer] $$$ Republicans eye return to gold standard [FT] $$$ New York Fed Sells Last of AIG Bonds, at a Profit [WSJ] $$$ "Hedge Funds, Grimacing, Open the Kimono" [Bloomberg] $$$ BlackRock would like to hire a securities lending accounting associate in San Francisco, if that's your cup of tea [DBCC] $$$ The Downsizing of the American Butler [CNBC] $$$ What's up with Best Buy? [DealBook] $$$ Citi passed its make-up stress test [Reuters] $$$ Seven-Year-Old Wins Iceland Ram Groping Contest [Iceland Review via MR]

$$$ Catalonia Asks Spanish Government for Emergency Funds [NYT] $$$ Asia's Tide of Cash Hems in Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Morgan Stanley Win On Brokerage Would Be Pyrrhic Victory [Bloomberg] $$$ Paulson Assures Bank of America in Call [WSJ] $$$ "When I asked a PE tax attorney if what Bain is doing is allowed, she told me that 'allowed' and 'not allowed' isn't always the right way to think about it." Tax lawyers! [Term Sheet] $$$ The CFA Institute comes out against Great Idea Corp. [Forbes] $$$ Shia LaBeouf Got Into Character for Upcoming Film by Dropping Acid On Set [Gawker] $$$ William Blair is looking for an experienced associate for its technology investment banking group in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ S.E.C. Charges 8 With Insider Trading in Sanofi Deal [DealBook] $$$ ISM sells a low-latency feed of its business data to Reuters [MarketBeat] $$$ “There’s an idea that when a lawyer or law firms are going to get a big payment, that there’s something somehow wrong about that, just because it’s a lawyer. I’m sorry, but investment banks have hit it big, a lot bigger the plaintiffs’ lawyer firms have hit it big. They’ve hit it big many times.” This Law Blog story on the Grupo Mexico verdict is kind of amazing. [WSJ Law Blog] $$$ Wall Street Rocker Gary Marks Settles With SEC Over Whether Knew What He Was Talking About [NYO] $$$ "There were no workers that were forced to attend the event. We had managers that communicated to our work force that the attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend the event." [Raw Story] $$$ Hitler clothing store in India asked to change name [JTA]

Biotech company vs its founder; Petco IPO; CFO pay; Citi probe; "Pissed-Off Man Dumps Urine On Teen's Head, Police Say"; and more.

Activist investors have a new favorite target; U.S. regulators, FBI warn banks on cyber threat after Bangladesh heist; Woman busted for DWI blasts cops for ‘picking on rich people’; and more.

Stock Exchange theme bar with fluctuating drinks prices opening in London; Lynn Tilton's new defense; Wall Street's summer reading lists; "Arizona Cops Hunting For Man Who Urinated Through Mail Slot At Upscale Furniture Store"; and more.

$$$ Plaintiffs' lawyers somehow turn nonbinding "say on pay" votes into shakedown opportunity [Reuters, related] $$$ How a desperate HP suspended disbelief for Autonomy deal [Reuters] $$$ Virtu, Getco Start Examining Knight Trading’s Books [Deal Journal] $$$ Carl Icahn and the Oshkosh board are still fighting [WSJ] $$$ National Bank of Poland Working Paper: "Would it have paid to be in the eurozone?" (Spoiler: no) [NBP] $$$ John Cochrane and Cliff Asness critique Warren Buffett on taxes [Grumpy Economist] $$$ Somebody's using bitcoins [BBW] $$$ A financial institution is looking for a risk manager in Charlotte [DBCC] $$$ Detroit on the Verge of Insolvency, Again [WSJ] $$$ Duke Energy’s Latest C.E.O. Drama [DealBook] $$$ Goldman Pushes Subprime ABX Index as Housing Rebounds [Bloomberg] $$$ BlackRock, Rialto Dump Some of Their ‘Skin’ in CMBS Game [MarketBeat] $$$ Lindsay Lohan Gets Unsolicited Legal Advice from Manhattan Madam Kristin Davis [NYO]

End of M&A boom; Zuckerberg tops Bezos; Investors pull out of Pimco; Law Student Demands Lifetime Supply Of Kit Kats; and more.

Blackstone to pay huge dividend; Wall Street already betting on 2016; GoPro CEO is rich; "Police: Man on flakka claimed to be Thor, sexually assaulted a tree"; and more.