Yahoo Investors Would Like Yahoo Board To Start Off 2016 By Getting Lost Forever

Yahoo should at least be relieved that it doesn't sell breadsticks.
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When they came for Marissa Mayer, the Yahoo (YHOO) board said nothing.

But that inactive silence seems to have really pissed off a bunch of major investors that are now dead-set on making things really sucky for the poor saps on Yahoo's board.

How bad is it?

You guys remember Starboard Value? The hedge fund that waged the great Olive Garden Breadstick Wars of 2015? Well, they have some cash tied up in Yahoo stock and they wrote a little note about how that feels.

Here are the best parts:

It appears that investors have lost all confidence in management and the Board. As of Tuesday's close, the value of the "Yahoo Stub" (defined as Yahoo's market value less the value of its shares in Alibaba) has collapsed and is currently trading near zero. The bulk of Yahoo's current market value almost entirely derives from an extraordinary investment Yahoo made over ten years ago in Alibaba, and the good fortune that Alibaba's management team has executed well such that this investment today is worth over $30 billion. This compares to Yahoo's current market capitalization of approximately $30.5 billion.

Burn!

Oh, but it gets worse.

For over a year, we have attempted to work constructively with management and the Board of Yahoo. We have tried extremely hard to work "behind the scenes." We have grown increasingly frustrated. It took significant effort for us to convince you it was the right choice to suspend the Aabaco spin-off. Unfortunately, instead of heeding our advice and concurrently announcing that you would explore a sale of the Core Business, you have now hid behind a plan to spin-off the Core Business and Yahoo Japan without fully understanding the alternative options. We have had numerous conversations with you for over a year where we expressed our extreme concern with the trajectory of the Core Business.

At least Starboard had the decency to edit out the "And what the f@ck was the deal with that insanely tone deaf Marie Antoinette holiday party, you dipsh!ts?!?!"

So, what is Starboard asking for? Nothing much, just a parade of rolling heads...

The Board must accept that significant changes are desperately needed. This would include changes in management, changes in Board composition, and changes in strategy and execution. If the Board is willing to embrace the need for significant change and pursue a strategy along the lines of what we have proposed above, we are hopeful we can work constructively together and make changes to the Board through a mutually agreeable resolution. This is clearly the preferable route. If the Board is unwilling to accept the need for significant change, then an election contest may very well be needed so that shareholders can replace a majority of the Board with directors who will represent their best interests and approach the situation with an open mind and a fresh perspective. 

But hey, this is Starboard, the same guys who did created a detailed algorithm to decide how many breadsticks each Olive Garden diner should get per visit, so maybe they're just a crazy outlier and every other major Yahoo investor is willing to give the board another shot at firing Marissa.

Activist investor Eric Jackson of SpringOwl Asset Management has joined the call for a board shake-up at Yahoo, telling Business Insider that "the current board as a whole has failed its fiduciary responsibilities."

Oh, right, Eric Jackson.

You guys remember Eric, he's the guy who published that 99-page presentation about Marissa's reign that did include a tacit asking of "And what the f@ck was the deal with that insanely tone deaf Marie Antoinette holiday party, you dipsh!ts?!?!"

So now we have two large investors moving on from simply braying for the blood of Marissa Mayer to laying the groundwork for turning the next Yahoo board meeting into "The Purple Wedding." Yahoo's stock is trading pretty evenly on the day despite all this noise, but it is hard to ignore that Marissa's perceived dithering is going to cause increasingly massive headaches for Yahoo board members as the calendar approaches what is destined to be a very entertaining Q1 investor presentation.

Starboard Delivers Letter to Yahoo's Board of Directors [PR Newswire]

ERIC JACKSON ON YAHOO: 'The current board as a whole has failed' [BI]

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