Bloomberg Reminds Readers To Watch Out For Warren Buffett's Horny Words Of Wisdom This Weekend

Get your highlighters ready.

Seasoned Dealbreaker readers and/or anyone who has ever listened to the words coming out of Warren Buffett's mouth have long known that the Oracle of Omaha loves to pair his folksy business wisdom with references to how frisky he's feeling. A short list of topics on which Buffett has injected his trademark style include: undervalued stocks ("I like an oversexed guy in a whorehouse"), Bear Stearns ("It’s like a woman taking off half her clothes and asking, ‘Should I continue?’ Even if you’re a 90-year-old eunuch, you let ‘em finish."), the stimulus package ("First stimulus package was sort of like taking half a tablet of Viagra and having also a bunch of candy mixed in"), why people sell companies to Berkshire ("You can sell it to Berkshire, and we’ll put it in the Metropolitan Museum; it’ll have a wing all by itself; it’ll be there forever. Or you can sell it to some porn shop operator, and he’ll take the painting and he’ll make the boobs a little bigger and he’ll stick it up in the window, and some other guy will come along in a raincoat, and he’ll buy it.") and bridge ("If I’m playing bridge and a naked woman walks by, I don’t ever see her...don't test me on that!").

With Berkshire Hathway's newest letter out this Saturday, Bloomberg has told fans of Buffett to get ready for his latest literary offerings, providing some old tracks to get everyone in the mood:

On counterparty risk in derivatives contracts: "Participants seeking to dodge troubles face the same problem as someone seeking to avoid venereal disease: It’s not just whom you sleep with, but also whom they are sleeping with. (2008)" On growth in market share: "In apparel, Fruit of the Loom increased unit sales by 10 million dozen, or 14%, with shipments of intimate apparel for women and girls growing by 31%. Charlie, who is far more knowledgeable than I am on this subject, assures me that women are not wearing more underwear. With this expert input, I can only conclude that our market share in the women’s category must be growing rapidly." On CEOs who manipulate earnings by taking restructuring charges: Their behavior brings to mind Voltaire’s comment on sexual experimentation: “Once a philosopher, twice a pervert.”

Money and Sex: Warren Buffett, the Winking Sage of Omaha [Bloomberg]


Former Berkshire Hathaway Executive Has Only The Nicest Things To Say About Warren Buffett

On March 30, 2011, Warren Buffett penned an open letter expressing support for his former lieutenant, David Sokol, whose trading activities had been called into question. "Neither Dave nor I feel his Lubrizol purchases were in any way unlawful," Buffett wrote. Then, a month later, he told shareholders and reporters gathered at the BKR annual meeting in Omaha that, actually, Sokol was a degenerate bum; a piece of garbage that needed to be taken out, lest it stink up the place. (Actual words: "inexcusable," "inexplicable," in violation of "the company's insider-trading rules and code of ethics." Buffett added that Berkshire "had turned over some very damning evidence" re: Sokol to the Securities and Exchange Commission, to boot.) Though Sokol did not publicly respond to the comments at the time, they presumably stung quite a bit, since having your unassailable ex-boss basically call you a lowlife does not do wonders for the reputation. Now, a year later, after being informed that the SEC would not be taking action against him, is he in a Zen place about life in general and Buffett's words specifically? Are the two men cool? Could Sokol see them being friends again one day? At the very least, is he ready to laugh about them? Yes, yes he is.