CNBC Offers List Of Best Restaurants "To Take A Mistress"

CNBC cares about keeping your gumar happy.
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"To be clear — not all Wall Street guys cheat on their wives. But the ones who do definitely want to keep a division of church and state. Best places to take–or meet–a mistress: Beauty and Essex...Mark Hotel...Saint Venus...Vandal." [CNBC]

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How Your CNBC Sausage Gets Made (Update)

Step 1: Come up with story idea, say, about how small businesses are being hurt due to the NBA lockout Step 2: Reach out to Twitter followers, ask them to corroborate said story Step 3: Wait. Step 4: Practice asking Kate Upton to be your Valentine. ["Will you, Kaaa" voice cracks. "Will you, Kate Upton.." No, that's stupid. "Kate I would be most honored if you.."] Step 5: Daydream about how you and "Katie" will tell your families you eloped. Step 6: Marvel at your good fortune when a guy, who in real life is a bored teenager but over the internet seems like a legit businessman, emails you to say that he runs an escort service in New York, "mostly for away team players after games but some Knicks and Nets too; they are high rollers and I'm not getting the constant business I that I need to stay running." Step 7: Double fist pump the air and shout "Yes, D-Rove, you got this!" Step 8: Breathe, tell yourself to calm down and reel it in. Step 9: Put on your reporter hat and ask "Henry James" some questions like, "How much money would say you're losing? What cut do you then get? What is the cheapest woman and what is the most expensive woman? I assume it's by the hour and what is the typical # of hours?" Step 10: Make no attempt to verify source is who he says he is, that his business exists, that you're not being taken for a ride. Step 11: Cut, print. How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [Deadspin] Related: SI Swimsuit Model Doesn’t Have To Worry About Things Getting Weird With CNBC Reporter Because He’s Known Her Since She Was 17

CNBC Is Nobody's Sloppy Seconds!

*DJ CNBC Tells Wall Street Execs To Go Back To Their Ready Made Whores At FBN, Bloomberg TV *DJ CNBC 'If You Go On Bloomberg We'll Fucking Cut You' *DJ CNBC 'Brian Moynihan Knows What He Did' *DJ CNBC 'Will Tell Everyone That Walks In This Building That in 2R, Cohn, You're Nothing But A Whore' *DJ CNBC Suggests It Won't Hesitate To Throw A Drink In The Face Of Anyone Seen Running Around Town With Another Network *DJ No, CNBC Doesn't Think It's Overreacting *DJ CNBC Will Show You Crazy

Dick Bové Has Whittled His Long List Of Offers Down To Three Lucky Firms

Dick Bove, the bank analyst whose brokerage, Rochdale Securities LLC, is struggling to survive after an unauthorized $1 billion Apple Inc. trade, said he’s been interviewing for a new job. Bove said he has narrowed his choice to three firms, which he declined to name, and will make a decision by about Dec. 15. The 71-year-old analyst said he’s giving Daniel Crowley, Rochdale’s chief executive officer, time to seek rescue financing after a loss on the Apple trade decimated the firm’s capital. “I indicated to them that my loyalty is with Dan Crowley and so I couldn’t make a decision until Dan threw in the towel,” Bove said today in a telephone interview. “The decision I make is really based on whether I want to stay with a small firm and write what I’m going to call provocative research or whether I want to go back in the general Wall Street milieu, dealing with corporate finance issues.” [Bloomberg]