It's all happening!
The only person fully enjoying this tournament is a 98-year-old nun, so do with that what you will.
You can stop freaking out. We solved the whole thing and it's actually quite a touching story.
Something so objectively reprehensible is happening that we're doing charity fundraiser...yeah, we can't believe it either.
The Trump administration is a mean girl sleepover and Steve Mnuchin is the awkward, needy social-climber wearing headgear.