JP Morgan is watching you; Kyle Bass targeting patents; Insider trading; "'Mrs. Doubtfire' Bank Robber Sought By Santa Cruz Police"; and more.

Barclays Chairman Resigns (WSJ) "Last week's events, evidencing as they do unacceptable standards of behaviour within the bank, have dealt a devastating blow to Barclays' reputation," Mr. Agius said in a statement Monday. "As chairman, I am the ultimate guardian of the bank's reputation. Accordingly, the buck stops with me and I must acknowledge responsibility by standing aside." Falcone To Argue That Taking Loan Was Best For Investors (NYP) Falcone had roughly $1 billion in personal assets in 2009, at the time of the loan, sources said. That included $790 million in a deferred compensation plan tied to his flagship Masters fund, and $228 million in Harbinger’s Special Situations fund, which he eventually tapped for the loan. He also had $11 million in cash — a nice chunk of change but far short of the $113 million he needed to satisfy Uncle Sam, said a person with knowledge of the case. If the case goes to trial, Falcone will likely say that he considered taking his money from the Master fund, which was allowing withdrawals at the time. But he didn’t after he was advised that doing so could hurt clients by triggering a sell-off, potentially at fire-sale prices. Global IPO Market Keeps Shrinking (WSJ) It was in the pool. Gilt Faces Disruption During Olympics (FT) The UK Treasury has called off its weekly gilt auctions for a four-week period between mid-July and mid-August, apparently because it is afraid that too many bond traders will be working from home – or not at all – during the Olympics. Facebook To Remain On Nasdaq (WSJ) Facebook executives have decided to keep the company's stock listing on the Nasdaq Stock Market, despite lingering frustration with the exchange's bungling of its widely anticipated initial public offering. They determined a move would further drain confidence in the company's battered shares. Facebook executives have quietly blamed Nasdaq OMX Group Inc. NDAQ +3.71% for the technical glitches that marred the stock's May 18 debut. While the company considered a switch in the days after the IPO, Facebook had decided by mid-June to stay put for now, according to people familiar with the company's plans. BNP Said To Mull Plan For $50 Billion Spain-Italy Funds Gap (Bloomberg) BNP Paribas is looking to address funding concerns in Spain and Italy, where the Paris-based bank’s loans outweighing deposits was among reasons cited by Moody’s Investors Service for downgrading its credit rating last month. Transfers of loans from elsewhere to Belgium might be capped at 20 billion euros ($25 billion) and at 10 billion Swiss francs ($10.4 billion) to Switzerland, according to one of the people. Bond Market Backs Obama With Record Demand For New Debt (Bloomberg) Investors are plowing cash into new U.S. Treasuries at a record pace, making economic growth rather than budget austerity a key issue as President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney face off in November’s presidential election. Bidders offered $3.16 for each dollar of the $1.075 trillion of notes and bonds auctioned by the Treasury Department this year as yields reached all-time lows, above the previous high of $3.04 in all of 2011, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. The so-called bid-to-cover ratio was 2.26 from 1998 to 2001 when the nation ran budget surpluses. China Big 4 Banks Took 29% of 2011 Global Profit (Reuters) Three Chinese banks topped the profit table, led by Industrial and Commercial Bank of China (ICBC) for the second successive year, with pretax earnings of $43.2 billion, according to The Banker. ICBC was followed by China Construction Bank, which delivered a $34.8 billion profit, and Bank of China, with earnings of $26.8 billion. JPMorgan was fourth with a profit of $26.7 billion, while HSBC was the most profitable European bank, with earnings of $21.9 billion. Lolong, a massive crocodile captured in the Philippines in 2011, is the largest croc in captivity in the world (NYDN) A huge crocodile blamed for deadly attacks in the southern Philippines is the largest in captivity in the world, Guinness World Records has declared. The giant reptile has brought fear, pride, tourism revenues and attention to the remote town where it was captured. The saltwater crocodile named Lolong, which was captured last September in Bunawan town in Agusan del Sur province, measures 20.24 feet and weighs more than a ton, Guinness spokeswoman Anne-Lise Rouse said in a statement Sunday. The reptile took the top spot from an Australian crocodile measuring more than 17 feet and weighing nearly a ton. Bunawan Mayor Edwin Cox Elorde said the news sparked celebrations in his farming town of 37,000, but also fostered concerns that more giant crocodiles might be lurking in a nearby marshland and creek where villagers fish. “There were mixed feelings,” Elorde said by telephone. “We’re really proud because it proves the rich biodiversity of our place, but at the same time, there are fears that Lolong may not be alone.” Lolong has become the star attraction of a new ecotourism park and research center in the outskirts of Bunawan, and has drawn thousands of tourists since news of its capture spread. Elorde said his town has earned $72,000 from the modest entrance fees at the park, with most of the money being used to feed and care for the crocodile and for park maintenance.

New York Fed Profits On AIG Bonds (WSJ) The Federal Reserve Bank of New York on Thursday sold the last toxic assets it acquired from the bailout of American International Group Inc., closing the book on its most controversial intervention during the financial crisis with a large gain to taxpayers. The regional Fed bank said it reaped $6.6 billion in profits from selling complex mortgage securities that it took on in late 2008 to stem AIG's cash bleed. Merkel Reiterates Greek Stance (WSJ) "The euro is more than a currency, it's an idea, and that's why it's so important," Ms. Merkel said at a news conference in Berlin, where she earlier met with Greek Prime Minister Antonis Samaras. "I want Greece to remain a part of the euro zone and that's what I am working on." Morgan Stanley Funds In Big Facebook Bet (WSJ) U.S. mutual funds run by Morgan Stanley, the lead underwriter in Facebook Inc.'s $16 billion initial public offering, have disproportionately high investments in the social-media company, leaving fund shareholders exposed to the stock's big drop since its May 18 IPO. New data show that eight of the top nine U.S. mutual funds with Facebook shares as a percentage of total assets are run by Morgan Stanley's asset-management arm, according to fund tracker Morningstar Inc. Don't Be Fooled By Short-Selling Bans (FT) ...the conclusions from the research are clear; these economists do not think short selling bans work. For there is precious little evidence that the ban in US markets truly halted share price declines; on the contrary, the impact was (at best) neutral, they claim. However, the ban hurt market mechanisms, as liquidity dried up. HSBC In Settlement Talks With U.S. Over Money Laundering (Bloomberg) HSBC, which is under investigation by U.S. regulators for laundering funds of sanctioned nations including Iran and Sudan, is in talks to settle the matter, two people with knowledge of the case said. The bank, Europe’s largest by market value, made a $700 million provision in July for any U.S. fines after a Senate Committee found it had given terrorists and drug cartels access to the U.S. financial system. That sum might increase, Chief Executive Officer Stuart Gulliver has said. Night of drinking, sexting and a well-placed bullet leads to prison for Oregon City man (OL) The couple drank at home and at two Oregon City area bars before their late night stop at the KC's Midway, a neighborhood watering hole where Lisa Nunes played video poker and enjoyed her 10th beer -- by her count -- of the day. Lisa Nunes spoke with a man she described as a friend, who left the bar but soon began bombarding her phone with text messages and pictures of his genitals. "I'm 54 years old. I have a relationship with my husband that's non-existent," Lisa Nunes testified. Flirting with a younger man "was exciting, she said. "I was just sexting a guy. It was no big deal," she said. Thomas Nunes, 61, said he was stunned when he saw a few of the messages and a photo. He left briefly then returned, grabbed the phone and went home. He read the all text messages and combed his wife's Facebook account looking for proof of infidelity. "I couldn't believe she was doing it right in front of my face," Nunes said. "I felt betrayed." Shaken, he said he smoked marijuana and talked to his cats for about 20 minutes to calm himself and "reason out a plan." Mitt: I’d give Fed boss the heave-ho (NewsCorp) Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney said yesterday that if elected, he would select a new Federal Reserve chairman, replacing Ben Bernanke, countering advice Tuesday from top economic adviser Glenn Hubbard that Bernanke should be considered for a third term. Return to Gold Standard Is Seen By Some as 'Ludicrous' (CNBC) The Financial Times reported on Friday that the Republican Party plans to set up a commission to look into re-establishing the link between the dollar and gold as part of its platform to be unveiled at the party convention in Tampa Bay, Fla., next week. But analysts told CNBC that the idea would not work. “I think it’s absolutely nonsensical,” Moorad Choudhry, head of treasury at the corporate banking division of the Royal Bank of Scotland told CNBC Friday. “There’s a very good reason they unhooked it in 1971, because their deficit didn’t enable them to maintain it with the supply of gold. In fact, is there enough gold in the world to back the U.S. debt?” Money Funds Test Geithner, Bernanke As Schapiro Defeated (Bloomberg) Money-market mutual funds, an alternative to bank accounts for individuals and companies, will test the resolve of the U.S. Federal Reserve and Treasury Department to prevent another financial crisis after the $2.6 trillion industry successfully lobbied against more regulation by the Securities and Exchange Commission. Fed Governor Daniel Tarullo has said the central bank could tighten rules on banks’ borrowing from money-market funds, and Boston Fed President Eric Rosengren has said officials have the option to force banks to back their money funds with capital. The Fed and the Treasury could also work through the Financial Stability Oversight Council, a new regulatory panel formed under the Dodd-Frank Act, to seize oversight of money funds from the SEC and grant that power to the Fed. Ryan Lochte Discusses Racing Prince Harry (NBC) Lochte had never met the prince until the royal's entourage approached him that night. "His people came over to my table and said, 'Prince Harry wants to meet you,'" he said. "I was like, 'Lets meet him.' I went over there. I was fully clothed, and he says, 'You want to race me in the pool?' I took off my shirt, jumped in and we started racing." Only hours later, all of the prince’s clothes came off in a now-infamous strip-billiards incident that took place in a hotel suite. Lochte did not get the invite to play strip billiards with the prince and his friends. “He never said anything like that,’’ Lochte said. “After our race and everything, we went our separate ways. I’m kind of happy. I don’t need that.’’

Hedge funds love currencies again; Kyle Bass is going after pharma patents; Goldman Sachs is a special snowflake; Dominique Strauss-Kahn: I’m ‘rougher’ in bed than most men; AND MORE.

AIG fends off Icahn; "Economists Warn of Less Sex on a Warmer Planet"; Paul Singer says run for your lives; "Drunk man woke up with tattooed beer goggles, kept them for 2 years"; and more.

Everyone (in DC) (supposedly) hates Wall Street; BofA economist says chill; "Cops: Woman Battered Fiancee Over Ring Regift"; and more.

Pimco bets on battered banks; AIG avoids wrath of Icahn; Deutsche buys back; Ted Cruz yanks ad featuring porn star; and more.