President Trump's Finances Are Convoluted For Jesus

And that's why he's dealing with another totally routine twelfth audit in a row.
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Add another awesome accomplishment to the legend of Donald Jekyll Trump: 12 straight years of IRS audits.

The mogul has been under increased pressure to cough up his returns but has repeatedly demurred in recent weeks, offering up vague explanations about why it’s not feasible for him to do so.
But on Thursday night’s debate stage, he provided the most explicit reason yet: He’s being audited.
“As far as my return, I want to file it, except for many years, I've been audited every year,” he said. “Twelve years or something like that. Every year they audit me, audit me, audit me. I have friends that are very wealthy people” who never get audited.

A dozen years, a dozen deep dives into Trump's taxes. You think that's an easy feat to pull off?

Well, think again you penniless loser.

Because according to Bloomberg, it's nearly impossible. They spoke to an accountant and former IRS agent seems very impressed by The Donald's streak:

Olsen said that Trump’s revelation about 12 years of audits is something of a bombshell itself. “If the IRS examines your tax return and finds no issues they will not audit your return again for two years,” he said. “If returns are properly prepared, the IRS typically goes away.”

But when you think about it, Trump is a guy with a lot of money (who likes to pretend he has even more money), most of which is tied-up in murky "brand" partnerships and a portfolio of kind-of/fully-owned real estate. Basically, Trump's money is a huge box with a question mark on it and he seems to revel in the mystery. Of course those ugly jealous nerds at the Internal Revenue Service want to get a piece of Trump.

Add in the fact that The Donald likes to parse the notion of his actual bankruptcies and has all but admitted to not understanding the concept of "net present value," and the IRS couldn't not have its dirty curiosity piqued by the tax returns it receives every year with the golden Trump signature on them.

So that's how you pull off 12 straight years of tax audits, losers. Bow before Trump!

And knowing President Trump, he'll just speak truth to power about this whole thing and be done with it...

"I'm always audited by the IRS, which I think is very unfair — I don't know, maybe because of religion, maybe because of something else, maybe because I'm doing this, although this is just recently," Trump said in an interview with CNN's Chris Cuomo immediately following the 10th GOP debate on Thursday night.
Cuomo cut in: "What do you mean religion?"
"Well, maybe because of the fact that I'm a strong Christian, and I feel strongly about it and maybe there's a bias," Trump said.
Cuomo cut in again: "You think you can get audited for being a strong Christian?"
"Well, you see what's happened," Trump said. "You have many religious groups that are complaining about that. They've been complaining about it for a long time.

Umm...whuck?

If The Donald was trying to pin this on the whole "Obama using the IRS to attack the Tea Party" thing, he overshot by a few years because 12 years of audits puts him smack dab in the Dubya administration. Which we all remember really hated wealthy christian men.

Does he want to re-phrase?

Cuomo cut in again: "You think you can get audited for being a strong Christian?"
"Well, you see what's happened," Trump said. "You have many religious groups that are complaining about that. They've been complaining about it for a long time.

So Donald Trump is sticking with the idea that he is the victim of Illuminati-style IRS religious persecution because of his modest, evangelical lifestyle?

At this point, sure, why the f@ck not?

Trump's claim on tax audits baffles [Politico]

Trump's 12 Years of Audits 'Very Unusual,' Ex-IRS Agent Says [Bloomberg]

Donald Trump says IRS audits could be tied to being a ‘strong Christian’ [WaPo]

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