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Area Trainer Whips Rotund Financiers Into Shape With Pictures Of Ex-Girlfriends' New Beefcake BFs

You call that a push-up? Bet your girlfriend's new man knows how to do a push-up.
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Are you getting soft around the edges? Has your lady friend abandoned you for a guy who keeps it right and tight? Do you want to get laid more than you want that bacon double cheeseburger? Do you have space in your apartment for a personal trainer and all his stuff? If you answered Yes, yes, yes, and hell yes, Hamid Castro is here to help.

Castro is accustomed to powerful men listening to what he says — and why wouldn’t they? More personal transformer than trainer, he receives as much as $15,000 a month to turn Wall Street heavyweights into svelte chick magnets. He applied a crash-course live-in regimen for one Wall Street whale who needed to drop 100 pounds in 11 weeks for his wedding. The client, Joe D., who declined to give his last name for privacy reasons, lost a total of 112 pounds — and gave Castro a $25,000 bonus. Another client, bond broker Matt D’Avanzo, 41, reached out to Castro after being called “a fat f - - k” by his wife. Four years later, his weight has dropped from 230 pounds to 165; he’s now in the midst of a divorce and dating a 29-year-old hottie. Characterizing himself as “Hitch on steroids,” Castro — lean, muscular and disarmingly confident — is his own best advertisement. He’s also a secret weapon for would-be players who excel at the office but fall short in gyms and can’t close deals in nightclubs.

Castro's methods, while slightly unorthodox, are results-oriented with the eye on the prize: cutting the fat from your ass and raising your confidence to comical levels.

The supertrainer kept Shah motivated by flashing him Facebook photos of his ex’s new, well-built boyfriend...Then they hit the clubs. “Hamid taught me that no girl could hurt me,” he says. “I learned not to care about getting turned down. My confidence soared. “Now the word ‘no’ gets me motivated. If I saw Taylor Swift surrounded by a bunch of guys, I’d walk up and ask her to have a drink with me, no problem.”

Now drop and give him 30 and yes, he'll be mimicking your ex in the throws of passion with her new beau just to make sure you really want it.

I train fat rich guys and then get them laid [NYP]


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Area Big Time Banker Can't Get Laid In A Whorehouse, Wants People To Know About It

What would posses a person to do an as-told-to article about the fact that after "failing miserably" at trying to pick up women in bars while working late for a "big name investment bank in New York," he turned to a "sugar daddy dating site" to bang hookers on his nights away from the wife and kids only to fall for one who ultimately broke his heart, because she was a prostitute and didn't actually care about him? The answer, quite, obviously, is love. Love, and a hope that a certain someone will see your story and upon reading that you're completely and totally over her and beating off call girls with a stick, COME RUNNING BACK. I met a girl who said she was a senior at Columbia University. She was so hot. Long brown hair, light eyes, perfect little body. We started an affair and I would give her a $4,000 "allowance" each month to meet once a week for dinner, or just to sleep together if I had a deal or a really late night in the office. Sometimes it was an hour of "small talk and sex," which, really, isn't a bad deal for her. $1,000 for an hour to spend time with me. I felt like a stud, there's no denying that, and I knew that she didn't want anything from me but money. She would come and go away when I made the signal I was tired. Soon though, I started liking her more than I wanted to. She was smart and kind of had a sarcastic sense of humor I found funny. I asked to see her more and she asked for more money. I said I couldn't do any more than that, and she said she couldn't give more time. It was the first time I felt a little hurt, like: "This person just wants my money and probably thinks I'm some gross horny old dude." The next month, I gave her the envelope of $4,000 upfront instead of $1,000 each time. We had sex, chatted, drank some wine and she left. I never saw her again. She wouldn't pick up her phone, then her phone was disconnected, my emails to her went unanswered, and her profile on the site was gone. It was such a blow. Though, really, what the hell did I expect? I guess some warning. Yes, some warning would have been nice but whatever. It's not like you're still upset about it. It's not like there isn't a moment of the day when she's not on your mind. It's not like you lie in bed at night thinking about her holding you. No, no sweat off your sack, which you use to bang hookers six at a time now that whatshername is out of the picture. Working girls line the street to get paid to have sex with you! You don't even have time to respond to all their propositions! The Jiltee has become the jilter! You can't even remember [theloveofyourlife]'s name you're so busy plowing prosties. After that, I decided I was going to go for quantity and not quality. I want hot girls, but a lot of them and substance isn't a huge deal. I have been with dozens of girls, and I give them money each time I meet them. The funny thing is often these girls are chasing me to sleep with them again, because it's easy money, but I just scroll through and delete or ignore the messages most of the time. Men want to be with a lot of women; it is just the truth...Maybe that first girl was a wake-up call. I'm already married. I don't need a steady mistress. But I have one or two I always go back to if I can't find someone I like, which happens a lot....I'm not hurting anyone by doing this. I'm always safe and upfront if I meet someone and know it won't happen. I just pay for the drink and let them know and leave, like "No deal, sorry." It is just like any deal. You have to know how to close it and have to know when you're not interested in putting in the effort to see it through. Why This Married Wall Street Banker Pays For Sex [Buzzfeed]