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85-Year-Old Man Almost Makes It Through 31 Page Letter Without A Sexually-Suggestive Comment

The Oracle of Omaha was thisclose, you guys.
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Doesn't have to slum it in church basements with Bill Gates anymore thanks to online bridge.

Actually, Warren Buffett only made it through seven before getting to it. And rather than crafting a bon mot of his own, as he is so very, very good at doing, he outsourced it to a professional.

Woody Allen once explains that the advantage of being bi-sexual is that it doubles your chances of finding a date on Saturday night. In like manner – well, not exactly like manner – our appetite for either operating businesses or passive investments doubles our chances of finding sensible uses for Berkshire’s endless gusher of cash.

Tame stuff, we know, but old Warren just wasn’t feeling randy this year. As he notes elsewhere in the missive, he is 85, and all of the See’s fudge and peanut brittle are taking their toll. Plus, he needed the space to talk about what a great goddamned country this is and always will be, despite what you’ve been hearing, and what a great goddamned company Berkshire is and always will be, in spite of his likely eventual death. And also about all the shopping and entertainment one can do at Buffettstock if one chooses to come this year, although he’s making that a little less necessary because Omaha simply cannot handle any more of his accolytes.

Charlie and I have finally decided to enter the 21st Century. Our annual meeting this year will be webcast worldwide in its entirety….

This new arrangement will serve two purposes. First, it may level off or modestly decrease attendance at the meeting. Last year’s record of more than 40,000 attendees strained our capacity….

Our second reason for initiating a webcast is more important. Charlie is 92, and I am 85. If we were partners with you in a small business, and were charged with running the place, you would want to look in occasionally to make sure we hadn’t drifted off into la-la land. Shareholders, in contrast, should not need to come to Omaha to monitor how we look and sound. (In making your evaluation, be kind: Allow for the fact that we didn’t look that impressive when we were at our best.)

Berkshire Hathaway 2015 shareholder letter
Quips and Quotes From Warren Buffett’s 2015 Shareholder Letter [WSJ]
Buffett Says Politicians ‘Dead Wrong’ With Negative U.S. Outlook [Bloomberg]


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