Who Does Bill Ackman Have To Screw To Make Some Money Around Here?

God damn you, 2016! You were supposed to be the anti-2015!
Author:
Updated:
Original:

Activist investor William Ackman's Pershing Square Holdings portfolio tumbled 18.6 percent so far this year, according to an investor with knowledge of the numbers. The comes after Pershing Square ended 2015 with its largest ever annual loss. [Reuters]

Related

Whatever Doesn't Kill A Bill Ackman Makes Him Stronger!

It makes the tension around Pershing Square so thick you could cut it with a bottle of Herbalife's Formula 1 Instant Healthy Meal Nutritional Shake Mix Vanilla Dream 22, sure, but it doesn't kill him.

Hold Bill Ackman's Calls

The hedge fund manager is having A DAY.

Bill Ackman Thanks Investors In Advance For Going Down With The Ship

The hedge fund manager has told investors to buckle the f*ck up re: year end performance; they've responded "Anything for you, Bill."

Area Analyst Can't Let Bill Ackman Have This One Thing

Not everyone wants to see Bill Ackman smile.

Bill Ackman Has A Lot Of Catching Up To Bill Ackman To Do

2014 Ackman thinks 2015 Ackman should pick up the pace.