Drexel Burnham oral history; Mark Cuban on Lynn Tilton; PayPal Mafia; "Florida dad uses Camaro to yank 8-year-old's tooth"; and more.

Bank system hacked again; IMF doesn't like Brexit; Mark Cuban offers to be Clinton's running mate; Botox fraud charged with swindling clinic out of $1250 in injections; and more.

John Paulson's September not to remember; Gold is back; "Man Sues For $5 Million After Skull Is Crushed By Falling Pine Cone"; and more.

$$$ Goldman to Stagger Managing Director Class Starting After 2013 [Deal Journal] $$$ "Hedge fund billionaire John Paulson's Gold Fund tumbled 18 percent last month when gold and gold mining stocks slid further ..." [Reuters] $$$ Dow Average Rises to Record as Jobless Claims Decline [Bloomberg] $$$ ECB sticks to its monetary guns [FT] $$$ Facebook Unveils Sweeping Changes to News Feed [WSJ] $$$ Columbia students have been stealing Nutella [NYT] $$$ A company is looking for a portfolio manager to join a commercial real estate team in New York [DBCC] $$$ For mortgage masters, 2013 is a bond-picker's market [Reuters] $$$ Inconsistent Risk Assessment by Banks Isn't That Bad [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Want a Secure Retirement? Move to Slovenia [NBC] $$$ "The US Government must have stolen half of a glass of water." Take The Zero-Hedge Test [Cassandra Does Tokyo] $$$ Person laughs at own joke [BI]

$$$ Nasdaq, Carlyle Discussed Deal [WSJ] $$$ Investing in Water Good Long-Term Bet, Goldman Head Says [Bloomberg] $$$ U.S. judge speeds up schedule in Apple vs Einhorn case [Reuters] $$$ Here you can read a debate about central banking and bubbles [Free Exchange, Money Illusion] $$$ Sports Illustrated Celebrates Launch of the 2013 Swimsuit Franchise by ringing the bell at the NYSE [NYX] $$$ A leading boutique investment bank is looking for a Healthcare associate or VP in New York [DBCC] $$$ Porsche Manipulation Probe Extended to Supervisory Board [Bloomberg] $$$ Bank of New York loses bid for $900 mln tax benefit [Reuters] $$$ RBS chairman says CEO's pay is "modest" [Reuters] $$$ Maker’s Mark Is Watering Down Its Bourbon [Grub Street]

$$$ Citigroup Boys' Club Highlights Industry Gender Gap [AB] $$$ Bernie Madoff reveals that merger arbitrage is often insider trading and other secrets of the 1980s [CNBC] $$$ The National Futures Association is trying to figure out how to catch the next Peregrine Financial fraud by asking Peregrine Financial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan Said to Face Order to Tighten Money-Laundering Controls [Bloomberg] $$$ You can email Mark Zuckerberg for $100 [Mashable] $$$ Registration for the 5th annual Decathlon starts Tuesday, January 22! This year's competition takes place on July 28th, and also includes monthly “Throw Downs” where all registered Decathletes compete in 1-2 Decathlon events and collect charity bets on head-to-head match-ups (40 yard dash! Pull-ups! Bench press!). All proceeds benefit the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. $$$ A hedge fund is looking for a junior equities relationship manager in Manhattan [DBCC] $$$ FrontPoint veteran's Copia Capital liquidates all funds, readies rebirth [AR] $$$ Don’t worry about an Elliott vs Argentina precedent [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Why exchanges should be forced to use open source software [Jayanth Varma] $$$ Chicken Wing Prices Take Flight to Record High [Bloomberg] $$$ Dog teaches puppy how to go down stairs [Gawker]

$$$ As His Fraud Trial Opens, Ex-UBS Trader Is Accused of Brazen Gambling [DealBook] $$$ Thanks, Goldman, for Giving My Peers Their Lives Back [Bloomberg] $$$ FDIC’s Hoenig Wants Simpler Rules Than Basel III [Deal Journal] $$$ Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary demonstrations start tomorrow [The Awl] $$$ Hard-money types talk too much about the gold standard, not enough about the bacon standard [CNBC] $$$ "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny's she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." - Mitt Romney [DI] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for an insurance wholesaling director in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Miller Says U.S. Should Issue Simplified Volcker Rule [Bloomberg] $$$ Private equity needs more strategic deals [Term Sheet] $$$ Home Depot is leaving China, "where cheap labor has stunted the do-it-yourself ethos and apartment-based living leaves scarce demand for products like lumber" [WSJ] $$$ Allocating Risk Through Contract: Evidence from M&A and Policy Implications [Harvard Law] $$$ Naked German monk found wandering Bavarian forest after tripping on some bad berries [NYDN]

Citi will limit executive pay when investor returns fall; Jamie Dimon says lay off big banks; Penis Ring Sparks Bomb Alert In German Casino; and more.