Recession 2016; Lacker not worried about China in US; Busted Michigan "Sex Toy Bandits" Make Crowdfunding Pitch For Wedding Funds; and more.

Lockhart sees rate hike in 2015; "How to Lose $667 Million in Bond Trades Without Trying"; Bitcoin; Petco deal; "Rapper Snoop Dogg starts site focused on weed"; and more.

$$$ EU could rewrite eurozone budgets [FT] $$$ Moody's Cuts Ratings on 28 Spanish Banks [WSJ] $$$ Do-it-yourself currency devaluation [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Greek Finance Minister Quits Days Into The Job [Bloomberg] $$$ RBS computer failure condemns man to spend weekend in jail [Telegraph] $$$ Feeding your pet rabbit carrots could be bad for him [NYP] $$$ A leading tech focused M&A boutique investment bank would like to hire a senior associate or VP - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Mapping and Sizing the U.S. Repo Market [Liberty Street Economics] $$$ Downgrade of Funds to Have Broad Effects [WSJ] $$$ Banks fight Fed's push to make them less entwined [Reuters] $$$ "Breastaurants" Experiencing a Mini-Boom [AP] $$$ A Jew-Hating Elmo In Central Park [Gawker]

$$$ U.S. investigates whether JPMorgan traders hid losses [Reuters] $$$ Was JPMorgan's restatement actually an elaborate plot to get Ina Drew's comp clawed back? No? [Felix Salmon] $$$ Fed May Need To Begin New Asset Purchases, Lockhart Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Mets star Dykstra pleads guilty in bankruptcy fraud case [NYP] $$$ "You have to sit there in silence, and you just get up every day and beat your head against the wall," but for that (and ratting out Countrywide) they'll pay you $14.5 million [Reuters] $$$ Q&A: The Gourmand Behind New York's $666 'Douche Burger' [BW] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a VP-level Group Finance COO business manager [DBCC] $$$ Spanish Bank Borrowing from ECB Surges [WSJ] $$$ Italy sells debt despite downgrade [FT] $$$ Visa, MasterCard in $6 Billion Settlement Over Surcharges [WSJ] $$$ Wealthy Homeowners Brace for 'Mansion Cliff' [CNBC!] $$$ Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network Is Being Dropped Because Your Provider Is Being a Giant Douche [McSweeney's]

Vindication for David Einhorn; Staley joins Barclays 12/1; Fed may still lift rates this year; Icahn wants to bust up AIG; "Speech expert: Australian accent influenced by drunken forefathers"; and more.

$$$ Fed says economy may need help, keeps policy on hold [Reuters] $$$ U.S. Treasury to Develop Floating-Rate Notes [WSJ] $$$ Flood of Errant Trades Is a Black Eye for Wall Street [NYT] $$$ PokerStars Strikes U.S. Deal to Buy Full Tilt Poker [Bloomberg] $$$ Australian Billionaire Reportedly Planning to Clone a Dinosaur for Jurassic Park-Themed Resort [NYO] $$$ The Federal Highway Administration is looking for a financial policy advisor in D.C., if that might be of interest to you [DBCC] $$$ Nationalising RBS on the table [FT] $$$ The Facebook Flip: Funds Exit Early [WSJ] $$$ What the U.S. Postal Service Default Really Means [BBW] $$$ London mayor gets stuck on zip line during Olympic celebration [NYDN]

Wall Street's Mr. Fix-It; Moody's downgrades France; "Virgin Snake Gives Birth For 2nd Time In 2 Years"; and more.

US wins Libor-rigging case; Lynn Tilton sues MBIA; Lockhart sees rate liftoff soon; "Austrian 85-year-old cuts almost a million euros ($1.1 million) into tiny pieces in an apparent attempt to spite her heirs"; and more.