$$$ Spain's Unemployment Jumps, Deepening Crisis [WSJ] $$$ "... the McClendon-[X] deal raises a number of concerns, some analysts said," for any X [Reuters, earlier] $$$ "Being violation-free alone does not guarantee that a public company or registered entity will not face the wrath of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission Division of Enforcement, its director, Robert Khuzami, told Thomson Reuters Tuesday." Good to keep 'em guessing. [Reuters] $$$ How to Leak to Gawker Without (Hopefully) Getting Caught, usefulness not limited to Gawker [Gawker] $$$ Who Was the Third Person in Bret Easton Ellis and Rielle Hunter’s (Aborted) Cocaine-Induced Threesome? [NYO] $$$ BNP Paribas would like to find an emerging markets equities analyst for its Boston office, if you know anyone [DBCC] $$$ Forget Bailouts, European Banks Needs Bail-Ins: Fitch [CNBC] $$$ After Quiet Years, British Regulator Gets Tough on Abuses [DealBook] $$$ Lazard profit drops on costs, but still beats Street [Reuters] $$$ Kyle Bass' Japan short gets the B-school case study treatment [AR-Alpha] $$$ Banks to Meet With Fed on Derivatives Rule [WSJ] $$$ Paul Ryan Suddenly Decides He Hates Ayn Rand [DI]

Carl Icahn is angry with Bernie Sanders; John Mack invested with former LendingClub CEO; Krispy Kreme agrees to buyout; Japanese baseball game delayed when foul-smelling fish falls from the sky; and more.

$$$ Behind Credit Default Swaps Market, a Cartel Left Open to Collusion [Dealbook] $$$ Jim Chanos: Hewlett Packard Is 'Ultimate Value Trap' [CNBC] $$$ Ackman Takes Activist Stance on P&G [CNBC] $$$ Goldman CEO Blankfein Said To Meet With Obama Adviser Lew [Bloomberg] $$$ Racketeering Charges Filed in Hedge Fund Divorce [NYO] $$$ Banker Tattoos [BuzzFeed] $$$ ...every so often, Ackman and his wife whirl through their Rolodexes and invite their unattached friends to come on over to their place and spend a few hours meeting other singles. In this day and age of internet dating, the Ackmans like to give that stressful process a personal touch. And last night was one of those nights when the man who runs $10 billion Pershing Square Capital Management and his wife Karen, who trained as a landscape architect, threw open the doors and hoped for the best. While no officials statistics have been kept, people who have attended the events say plenty of people have found their mates here. At this week’s event? Roughly 200 people attended, according to someone who was there. [Reuters, earlier] $$$ "Dozens of traffic signs have been destroyed by prostitutes performing pole-dances in the street to attract clients, officials in New Zealand's biggest city have revealed." [Telegraph] $$$ Charlie Gasparino: U.S. Insider Trading Investigation Winding Down (Maybe) [FBN] $$$ Ex-JPMorgan Banker Admits Role in Muni Bid-Rigging Scheme [Reuters] $$$ Paulson, Rubin Warn on Dangers of 'Fiscal Cliff' [CNBC] $$$ WWII Shipwreck Yields $38 Million of Silver From Atlantic [Bloomberg] $$$ High school kid accused of running in a potential $3 million marijuana ring. [CP]

Ex-Deutsche Bank analyst fined, suspended over stock rating; Dairy downturn hurts banks; Man wakes up with huge penis tattoo on his leg; and more.

Greg Lippmann starting new fund: Shkreli resigns; Activists want Yahoo sale; "Tennessee animal control lures loose pig using donuts"; and more.

$$$ Facebook Falls To Record As Lockup End Frees Shares [Bloomberg] $$$ Best Buy Founder Presses Case for Takeover Talks [DealBook] $$$ Hall Of Fame Football Coach Donnan Accused In Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Dealpolitik: Muddied Waters Complicate Focus Media Buyout [Deal Journal] $$$ “Struck By Blow Dart”: A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers [Deadspin] $$$ Macquarie Capital is looking for a restructuring and M&A vice president in New York, if you're available [DBCC] $$$ BlackRock Tiptoes Into Spain's Sovereign Debt [WSJ] $$$ Bain Capital was good at investing when Mitt Romney ran it [PEHub] $$$ Romney Says He Paid at Least 13% Taxes for 10 Years [CNBC] $$$ New Ray Gun Used to Fight High Sea Pirates [CNBC]

$$$ Gawker acquires semi-public audited financials of Bain Capital funds, orgasms all over them [Gawker, related] $$$ Bain Capital's conversion of management fees into carry may have been tax aggressive [Victor Fleischer] $$$ Republicans eye return to gold standard [FT] $$$ New York Fed Sells Last of AIG Bonds, at a Profit [WSJ] $$$ "Hedge Funds, Grimacing, Open the Kimono" [Bloomberg] $$$ BlackRock would like to hire a securities lending accounting associate in San Francisco, if that's your cup of tea [DBCC] $$$ The Downsizing of the American Butler [CNBC] $$$ What's up with Best Buy? [DealBook] $$$ Citi passed its make-up stress test [Reuters] $$$ Seven-Year-Old Wins Iceland Ram Groping Contest [Iceland Review via MR]

$$$ Happy Birthday, Jamie Dimon [DealBook] $$$ There's a pope [DI] $$$ EU May Put Short-Term Bank Creditors in Firing Line for Losses [Bloomberg] $$$ End Looming for Paper Certificates [WSJ] $$$ Is Insider Selling A Concern? (No) [TBP] $$$ I Emailed the CEO of Bank of America to Fix My Credit Score (And He Did) [The Billfold] $$$ A high frequency trading fund is looking for a senior compliance officer in New York [DBCC] $$$ Former Pimco Executive Files, Then Withdraws, Suit Alleging Misconduct [DealBook] $$$ Lehman creditors can question 'London Whale' - judge [Reuters] $$$ New Dell suitors don't make much sense [Fortune] $$$ Goldman Sachs ventures west for annual meeting in Salt Lake City [Reuters] $$$ New York City to Ban Awls [The Awl]