Area Analyst Can't Let Bill Ackman Have This One Thing

Not everyone wants to see Bill Ackman smile.
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As those of you who keep close tabs on the life and times of Bill Ackman know, the last 14 months have not gone so well for the Pershing Square founder. Following a banner 2014, his hedge fund lost 20% last year and is down 17% so far in 2016. He lost somewhere in the ballpark of $321 million on Monday. Mike Bloomberg still hasn't announced his campaign for president. So when the news emerged today that his arch nemesis, Herbalife Ltd, had "overstated the growth of its customer and distributor base," it should've been a nice little bright spot in the sea of darkness and hell that has been Ackman's professional life of late. Something to put just the slightest spring in his step. A little tiny thing to make him smile. But apparently some people won't let him have this minor-est victory before the inevitable onslaught of more sh*tty news.

While the mistake is embarrassing, and will raise suspicions among investors who already are skeptical of the company, the numbers themselves aren’t particularly problematic for the company, said Ken Shea, an analyst at Bloomberg Intelligence. The errors also don’t affect the company’s historical financial statements. “The meaningful cloud over this company is the one that Ackman’s charging them with, and this doesn’t appear to be connected,” he said. “I see today’s announcement as separate from that.”

Herbalife Tumbles After Overstating Growth in New Members [Bloomberg]

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How Should Bill Ackman And Carl Icahn Settle This Thing Once And For All?

When Mark Hughs founded a multi-level marketing company called Herbalife in 1980, he probably thought it had the power to do a lot of things. Help people lose weight. Makes others rich. Shake up the diet industry. What he mostly likely did not expect, however, was that his li'l company that could would reignite a feud between two billionaires that would devolve into a flurry of press releases quibbling over who was dying to be friends with whom, shouting matches on live TV, and, we predict, someone telling someone else he has a right mind to "Rip the eyes out of your head and piss into your dead skull! You messed with the wrong hedge fund manager!"