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Bridgewater Integrity-Gate Just Painful Chapter For The History Books Now

Bridgewater's got a new CEO
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Everything's going to be OK, my little hyena cubs.

The bewildering case of Jensen v. Dalio has come to an end. The accusations have been sorted out, the trial is over, and now Greg Jensen gets what he always wanted when he threw the temper-tantrum that set this whole thing off in the first place: not to have to run Bridgewater Associates anymore. And after some rigorously honest soul-searching and analysis, they’ve found the perfect guy to do so alongside co-CEO and not-exactly-a-liar Eileen Murray and up-until-now-secret co-executive chairman Craig Mundie: Former Apple executive and co-iMac/iPod creator Jon Rubinstein. As an added bonus, the new co-CEO will also help Bridgewater build those Principled robots from which we definitely have nothing to fear.

“We have concluded that in order to have pervasive excellent management, we need CEOs who can give their full attention to the company’s management, and we want Greg to shift his full attentions to investment responsibilities,” the firm said in the letter. “Also, because technology is so important to us, we wanted one of our co-CEOs to be very strong in that area.”

Ray Dalio’s Bridgewater to Hire Jon Rubinstein as Co-CEO [Bloomberg]
Bridgewater Hires Ex-Apple Executive Jon Rubinstein as Co-CEO [WSJ]

Earlier: Ray Dalio's No. 2 Is Trying To Impeach Him; Greg Jensen Attempted Bridgewater Coup Because He Was Crank/Tired/Missed Hanging Out With Ray


Ray Dalio’s No. 2 Is Trying To Impeach Him

Things are more than a little awkward at Bridgewater Associates right now.

Getty Images

Borderline Slimy Weasel Newly-Minted Bridgewater Billionaire

Greg Jensen’s hissy fit cost him his co-CEO title, but not much else.

Greg Jensen Attempted Bridgewater Coup Because He Was Cranky, Tired, Missed Hanging Out With Ray Dalio

Also reports of said coup were a "sensationalistic mischaracterization of what is going on."

Ray Dalio (Getty Images)

Ray Dalio Makes Himself Vice President Of The Bridgewater Senate

Ties are broken by the most Principled among them.

Coming soon to a Bridgewater office near you.

Famed Liar, Do-As-I-Say-Not-As-I-Do Proponent Of Radical Transparency Head To Court

When others violate Principles, it should cost them $100 million, according to Bridgewater.