"I'm getting better."
"No, you're not: You'll be stone dead in a moment."
Bad news: Hedge funds are closing like it’s 2009, with nearly 1,000 of them going down for the dirt nap last year. More bad news: Hedge fund assets dropped below $3 trillion after people bolted for the doors in January, and barely anyone made the return trip. Good news: As after a nice plague or epidemic, there’s more for the survivors.
Last year was the worst year for liquidations since 2009, with 979 funds closing, up from 864 in 2014, according to data from Hedge Fund Research. The fourth quarter of 2015 also saw the fewest new hedge funds starting up since 2009, with just 183 openings compared with 269 in the third quarter….
In February — normally a big month for inflows — about $3bn of new money trickled in, compared with $18.6bn last year, eVestment data show. Investment losses dragged down total assets by almost another $20bn to $2.95tn.