Inside Jamie Dimon's Potemkin Village Fintech Bunker

Foosball tables are for closers.
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We all know that Jamie Dimon is very wary of the Fintech revolution, so it makes sense that JPMorgan would be spending about $6 billion this year to make sure that they don't get even one business sector poached off by some unbathed coder living in his mom's basement.

And with some of that money, according to Bloomberg, JPMorgan has reportedly built itself a super-hip new tech space, replete with all the techie hipster cliches trimmings...

JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s. new technology hub across the street from the Hudson Yards development on Manhattan’s West Side -- a 125,000-square-foot space so vast it’s subdivided into five neighborhoods -- has all the trappings of a startup: foosball tables, a game room, industrial decor and fridges stocked with sodas and snacks.

Jamie! Bro! That sounds sick!

So is JPMorgan embracing the future and letting these Millennial homies bring their dogs and Razr scooters into a space that is a celebration of "Work as Play"... Cuz that is like the coolest thing Wall Street has ever done...

This is still a bank, though. The uniform of the mostly male workforce is a button-down shirt and slacks. On a recent tour, the game room, with its Xbox and electric guitars, was the site of intense work meetings. There are no pets as at Google. And those snacks? Not free.

Oh.

So what are they doing in there?

The bank has overhauled its website -- an unveiling is planned for Wednesday -- to make it easier and more intuitive to use. It consolidates about 300 pages from the old site so a visitor doesn’t have to hunt around to get things done. It also features a newsfeed with articles about personal finance. JPMorgan is slowly adding users to the new platform to gauge their reactions. It expects to add the rest starting this month and later release a new small-business banking website.

Gnarly(?).

In JPMorgan Fintech Bunker, Button-Down Coders Build Bank Apps [Bloomberg]

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